Sharing Recovery 8 11-5-17.mp3

Sharing Recovery
Sunday, November 5th

Recovery is possible even following relapse...even multiple relapses. Fred and Steve share how.

00:33:04

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Live from the WYLE. Studios in Pittston Pennsylvania. Welcomed sharing recovery. Straight talk on today's struggles of addiction and triumphs of recovery. Recovery is possible. Sharing the recovery is sponsored by. Clear brook treatment center serenity a lunch attorney Jason medio Lee and our stone recovery center. We welcome your calls with questions or comments who call 57083009. Weeks. Or 1804370098. Views expressed on the show or not necessarily those of Entercom communications staff management or sponsors pure euros Suzanne Kelly and Jack crop. Hello and welcome to share your recovery now we're very happy that you chose to spend this afternoon and a best. I'm Suzanne Kelly and I'm joined by fellow host Jack crop. Crew two months of goat celebrated his nineteen year of sobriety which is just absolutely fabulous. We put a show together to talk about health hope and healing. We do know that recovery is possible. But we also know that silence often equals death and today's topic for sharing your recovery is about relapse. A lot of myths about relapse allow a lot of non misinformation. About relapsed. We know that it happens yet we also know that relapse is not a failure. And today we have two guests we have frenzy was fast and Steve L. Ku bar he's here in the WAOK studios and they're ready to share their stories so welcome guys thank you so much for being with us. Thank you so much for having us this is awesome I'm Steve if I could start with you look on Tulsa little bit about when you started using. If it was alcohol drugs both side give us a little bit of background of what started trio. I'll root ball I started drinking and it needs greater around thirteen years old and out. Started when drinking and smoking pot and by the time I was in ninth and tenth grade. I was on the heavier drugs cocaine not albeit here but. You know still smoking pot and drinking more cocaine and taking acid and basically do whatever I can get my hands on. And throughout the course the most in my life till I was 29 I won't you know I had problems with and cocaine and matter are usually speed type drugs and I made by the time I was 27 I was on opiates and eventually that led Darryl but it all started I'd say an eighth grade. Make adjustments just been drinking he just didn't you have to you know be part of the Clinton be part of a group feel that you belong to we're trying to. You know block stuff out of your life you know I was just like you said early on I was 'cause my friends were doing it and a lot of that had to do with clinical and support staff. Provide the highest level. A professional treatment and individualized care color storm recovery sooner 8558992292. Jason Matty Oly Izzy personally injury. And criminal defense lawyer prepared to fight for you. Attorney met the only has an exceptional record of defending the rights. Of those arrested for do you lie in drug offenses. He also represents victims of tractor trailer an automobile accidents. Premises liability product defects and work related accidents. If you are a loved one has been arrested or injured call attorney Mehdi only at 5709611616. Serenity lunches in safe structured supervise sober living community. Three young men located in the beautiful mountains of Susquehanna county Pennsylvania. Serenity lodge has perfected. The missing peace between addiction treatment and real life serenity lodged teaches how to use the principles recovery along with age appropriate life skills. Call serenity lunch today at 5706508205. Since 1972. Clear that treatment center has been providing successful treatment for those suffering from substance abuse clear Brooks medical program provides round the clock care and treatment. From a licensed and specialized medical team. They're bricks approach to addiction is largely based on the proven practices other alcoholics anonymous has store services are available to patients seeking spiritual guidance. Called clear that today at 5702602600. This is double BYAOK. Powered by Sherwood Chevrolet Buick GM CE online venture would Chevrolet dot com. Welcome back to sharing recovery straight talk. Today's struggles of addiction and triumphs of recovery and recovery is possible we welcome your calls for questions or come. All 570. Eating 30098. Or 180437009. And Angel. You were euros as Suzanne Kelly in check. Crop. And welcome back to sharing recovery. Today's topic is relapse is not a failure. Before the break we're talking with Steve and friend and seems like the common denominator is. With C recovery and when you feel yourself going back into that relapse mode. You really can't hang out with the same people that you are using less because they're not your friends. So you keep doing the same thing over and over you're not gonna get a different result right. So friend you're talking about. Those the U hung out with and ends. Gives a little bit more about your temporary spiral. Sure absolutely looking back him in a EU says something that's so important doing the same thing. Expecting different results that I equate that to us for myself I a didn't change anything about myself then the result was I got the same results you know. I'm if nothing changes nothing changes so. If you take they say if you take eight. The horse drawn course thief in his over a month that I have a sober or speaks. And that's what I was I was just the same guy except I was over four months. I'm looking back you're thinking that I could stay clean on will power and I Coburn. You know four months I can stay clean on what power which was pretty pretty good. But I look back to the warning signs and there were major warning signs that where I had a relapse was already. Commencing. It was coming bullies science the science. We first talked about want me to want people places and things I was hanging out with people that I used to use and run west. I was hanging out dead all places where used to get I have to. And dumb I was doing the same things that I engaged in the same hobbies that I used to to do when I was getting and I. Another big warning sign was I was. Like Jackson that I was not relying on. The wisdom of someone you had been sober for a long time to I wasn't talking to a sponsor. I was not engaged in any kind of broke program of recovery. I was basically relying on myself. And the other major warning sign was I was not being done this with anybody about how I really felt. You know has been that tough guy I'm gonna talk to any money out deal of my problems. And you know after you're drinking and drugging and all my life. I was not equipped to handle my emotional. Stained and no emotional coping skills at all from my coping skill was. Jimmy. Southern comfort. Fab blunt ends and heroin. Right so wolf what we know is that. We have to clean house. We have to tell somebody every day what's going on. That one will refuse to do that when we assume that the guy in the mirror is smarter than everybody else we start down that road. Out of trouble and troubles going to come back to us now Trey how long are you clean now. Now I'm so over eight years density of three and a half years OK so that and that's that's wonderful and you guys will work great program. But we all know people I don't get this. I want to make this point that. It's not just people no longer recovery. That end up relapse. People we don't know people who have had fifteen and twenty year coach. Who stopped doing what's required. To maintain recovery and those people every lapsed. Yeah we're telling us sort of the point of view guys that are. Relatively young your recovery. But it happens it can happen to anyone who isn't willing to work your recovery. Did you work for being drunk and high every day for it I certainly did jackass. And Steve he had a lot of work and that it's okay so why wouldn't we think it takes just as much work. To remain. Clean and sober as it did to get high. And to be drunk because we drove his job. You know you have to plan your day around your drinks you have to find your day and financially you have to decide whether you're gonna pay the IRS your money and drink in my case it was always money to drink I really didn't care about the bills. I didn't care about the responsibilities. I didn't hear the engines and cereal as long as I was drinking. Felt. That that's the this the frame of mind you're working with so you take away the alcohol and you still have that frame of mind. Something has to change to change that way you think you're. So Frederick is safe for months out you're your relapsed and you started using again how long did that run lasts for a. That run last at a little over one year. Of which it. Was to they do say about alcoholism and drug addiction as a disease of progression. And failed progression in end my disease got much worse might have met with heroin and alcohol. I'm much much worse of much more consequences. And finally had the circumstances were such that I got into another detox and rehab and down this time completely broken night. Was able to actually looked back once I was so homer long enough. And remember where and I fallen short. Why wasn't I am a distaste over the last time in this what we're talking about here. Dialogue what you said that. We used to drink every day so it in recovery. I personally have discovered that. I have to do something for my recovery every day. Dependent person I mean something. And now that I. Don't have drugs and alcohol into drugs and alcohol way I have to replace it with something under and today every place with doing things for my recovery. So I'm. Okay now that's another interesting point that that I like you to make because. But today. It doesn't have to be. Going to a meeting every day to work on your recovery does that there are other things you can do by helping others. Participating him in recovery. Events just being around recovering people. Who is working on recovery. It doesn't have to people get in people are afraid people are afraid of recovery. There are people listening and say I can't do that I can't commit to. Going to a meeting every day are talking to a sponsor every day if if they even have any clue what that means are having a support group. There are other ways are participating you're working on recovery then just that. Dusty how long did your run blast after you got there when you. Relapsed. From the time I left the first rehab till I got into Claybrook it was only 33 and a half months. Now I mean how bad was that three minute months. It was horrible cause 181 I was clean for two day air remembers thinking you've if 'cause they have a program I knew it was a reaching out to people I was I don't care about myself still I remember thinking. On the days when. I was so relate give this is what sobriety is I don't even wanna try to be like this because I was so down now. And dodged it only lasted about three and a half months tonight I got into clear Merck and god but I also lobbed. In that timeframe like. I had already hit immaterial bottom financial bottom but I I hit a real self esteem low and that three and a half months I can no longer look in the near. At points where would pray that you know I would go in my sleep bright can take enough pills and heroines had to knock me out for good you know stuff like that would cross my mind. You actually got two more resigned did it was better than alive absolutely no light at the end of the tunnel this is going to be the rest of my life I don't I don't wanna be around type of thoughts you didn't want to be stuck in that wedge between sit between high and sober yes. Fred do ever get that bad for you knew you wanted to die. It did get that bad end the only reason I didn't make these supreme Zach Frazer talked about as because I. I thought that would be. Ways too much of a blow to my family. I couldn't be that selfish to take myself out by yes and yes because when I was. Hi I was aware that I was destroying my life and I was saying to myself this has to stop. And when I was. A sobering out when I was coming down I was sick. And I was having cravings and I said to myself I asked the guy and I couldn't enjoy being I and I can and enjoy being so Olmert. Like to take a break now we're gonna go to the phones right now we have on the air is on the line Arabs from Harvey's lake hi welcome to the show. I figured I'd like to hear this stuff. Like this I relapsed. Several times in the years I've been coming around there and it was not show every time it was just I'd stop gotomeeting and something else protect its place at. You know there's just a matter of time before I was gonna stick up against each and I might salsa and how to like getting your gap. I know they do. You know and I would go back to meetings I would see this same people that have times. If you're going to meetings. Film and I tantamount what are my friend came here from Arizona. I couldn't understand why really go to meetings every day every day every day. Yeah until I got into it could just cited cannot say so without it should he did a fellowship Anita here. So Eric how are you feeling today how are you doing OK you had your relapse that you're back in and support our artists for nine years now. Nine years nine years for the second time at nine years fell out after eleven years when time is spent thanks up on a British. And that's the point I'm making is not just people are doing recovery got real at all their people what time eleven years nine years and I relapse because they stop doing what we need to do to stay sober. Yeah. Yeah. Eric what do you do our careers what are you doing for yourself today Eric to can carry yourself and two key group. On this journey. I tried to do this. Every day I try to go meeting every day I was at this morning's. You know and I am going to be good drive around my primary on my listen you guys. And I share. Thank you for that they're awesome they're kids thank you so much Daryn we really appreciate your call god bless Maria thank you okay. Are correct that I. So mountain. That's that's the point that. You you guys both have said the same things Eric just said the same things that you work your program is stopped Blyth was terrible. And you're cot cot between using and not using. It was just awful. And it's just a horrible horrible way to live so what happens now. Next. We're gonna talk about what happens next so we Disney's take a quick break and we'll be right back. Serenity lunches in safe structured supervise sober living community. Three young men located in the beautiful mountains of Susquehanna county Pennsylvania. Serenity lodge has perfected. The missing peace between addiction treatment and real life serenity lodged teaches how to use the principles of recovery along with age appropriate life skills. Call serenity lunch today at 5706508205. Since 1972. Clear that treatment center has been providing successful treatment for those suffering from substance abuse clear Brooks medical program provides round the clock care and treatment. From a licensed and specialized medical team. They're bricks approach to addiction is largely based on the proven practices other alcoholics anonymous and has store services are available to patients seeking spiritual guidance. Call Claybrook today at 5702602600. Jason Matty Oly Izzy personally injury and criminal defense lawyer prepared to fight for you. Attorney met he only has an exceptional record of defending the rights. Of those arrested for do you lie and drug offenses. He also represents victims of tractor trailer an automobile accidents. Premises liability product defects and work related accidents. If you are a loved one has been arrested or injured call attorney Mehdi only at 5709611616. Art stone recovery center of the palm beaches provides addiction treatment senator within a small personal community kind. For nearly two decades arch tone this helps thousands suffering from alcohol and chemical dependency is recovered. And regain control of their lives are stones medical. Clinical and support staff. Provide the highest level. A professional treatment and individualized care color storm recovery center 8558992292. Experience grants. Winds are back on the ice in northeast Pennsylvania. Listen to all the action on the penguins flagship station WYLP. News radio arts artist. The what does it mean for Beckham. Tickets all season long brought to you by Iran with a ram truck no job will be too much for you to handle this holiday season get great deals all month long at the ram Black Friday sales events cancer every goal see thin bone crunching hit on double BYOK news radio. Welcome back to sharing recovery straight talk once and he struggles of addiction and triumphs of recovery and recovery is possible we welcome your calls for questions or come. All 570830098. Or 180437009. And Angel you're euros as Suzanne Kelly in general problem. And welcome back the topic today is relapse is not failure. What things otherwise might talk about is with a friend in Steve is that you know you you were working your program you are doing good things that he needs to do to keep yourself safe to keep yourself on this journey of recovery. And you both doing things now for yourselves. Right relapse is not failure right now we've talked to a relapse from the beginning of this first three quarters of the show that now we're gonna talk about the fact it's not failure that you two guys are doing great today and self care is not selfish at. No it's not so afraid you've got that points Don your back to treatment. And then what happened them where we ask today. So today you know what that relapsed as for me and I just wanna say every US is not necessary. By any means that and part of the reason why I'm sharing with everybody right now is so that they might learn. Through me through my own mistakes but are your experiences correct. And what I do today is because of that relapse somewhere and I am a bit better knowledge about myself that I have to do something for my recovery every day and a am a lot of that what I do for recovery is. I found out that. There are other ways to feel good. Besides drugs and alcohol and I'm not talking about pleasure seeking because that's what I do with drugs and alcohol as well but I'm. Helping other people. It's fusion helps me into something about myself. Built my self esteem. I feel good at the end of the day I utilized prayer in my daily life and that reduces a lot of stress for myself meditation. I talk to other people that are recovering. And tell them what's going on with me if I'm struggling if I have I'm sorry in Iraq. You present for you say you're struggling you're only you're struggling with the drugs and alcohol you mean you're strong in my life correct that life continues to happen. No matter whether we're sober or using life continues to happen every one's life no matter who your has ups and downs. So we are talking when you say struggling I don't confuse the audience and they think all he's stronger drugs again. That's not what you mean you mean Sherman live life on life's terms life as it comes at you every day America. Correct yes whether it's a very stressful day at work or. Crisis in the family. Are some things was life Oreo lots of basketball game nor rim today and he and you got upset about it he's going to lose basketball games there couldn't be any easy could be a broken shoe lace race I mean you can get up tomorrow morning M and your running late for work and you're surely breaks and that makes it a stressful day. That makes it a struggle to deal with life defense at that moment. Right. Correct Steve how how do you handle your days they'll. Walt a lot of the same as Fred you know I like to wake up and Maureen just simply ask god to keep me sober keep my family and friends safe and then out throughout the day I always make it a point won't. Meetings are important I try to go every day but you know sometimes you're busy you have stuff going on especially if you're. Put some sobriety together your responsibilities. Com. The main thing is talking to someone else in the program or someone else's and recovery. I. I have to be on point with at least one other person every day. Even if it's a conversation talk about something as small as someone caught me off and he. You know when traffic something stupid like gap and just talking to another alcoholic or another drug addict that's very important for me you know a prayer or night and when Jack and Fred we're seeing if someone asked me to help out with something that bills myself esteem that helps me probably more than it helps then you know a lot of my addiction was all about. Mean what I can do to better myself forget myself hi so if someone asked me to be of service in some way I say yes to that I was told not to say now. Right helping others do you stop thinking about ourselves because we're using drugs and alcohol all we care about is us. So we have to break that cycle and in order to break that cycle we have to help others. And we have to help others on a daily basis. So. There is a recovery program and there was a guy named doctor Bob he wrote a prescription. And doctor Bob prescription was clean house. Which means we need to talk to people every day about what's going on. Trust god which is something that evolves over time it doesn't happen the day's top youth but helping others. And that's where or how do you learn now were wordy alert that friend I mean how do you learn to help others. That's something that I learned over time and I learned from other recovering so for people. I'm going to meanings. Fans. Putting an end to practice but helping others doesn't have to be. Helping another alcoholic or another use somebody using it to be holding the door at the grocery store from the old ladies. Or or helping a man and a wheelchair get into his car. Helping others it is is not just limited to a recovery. Meeting Laura recovery person. What what do you do SPN news or. Well I mean I at first I need an addiction I didn't really. Care about went on a household you know like me been hired help my parents out with something that's a change for me. Simple stuff like Coleman door for someone non. For me being of service to others early on meant maybe just not seeing white what comes to mine mine and a bad situation keep in my mouth shut being kind of people. I won't say that I kinda learned at eight even a clear brook they give you buddy in the air they're kinda getting you prep for when you leave there they teach you that. You're meant to show that person around introduced and the people they kinda get you into service work why you're there you know being their for someone else. Endowed that type stuff help me out a lot and early on maybe being agree here at wanted to groups or. How big someone in recovery move furniture or stuff like dad made me. Not feel like I was a low life gave me some self esteem may be put in the back in my head down not this. Raging heroin addict I'd be calmed down a decent person and I can I can continue to be Indies. Personally I always say that your much much more than your disease no matter what you're doing you're more and your person. What do you do for fun. I'm really at the it's limitless. I'm for myself there's so much fun they can be had in recovery and I had no idea because I thought the fun was over. When I was getting so burned by it. I like to dance. I liked us snowboard. I work out dialogue working out I go for runs I sign up for this far and ray says five gaze. Well that and I love seeing movies. My girlfriend is a big movie Goer she's she loves so I. I am always up today on the current movies. And the list continues don't go out to eat after meaning great friend go bowling. If you know anybody that complains that there is. Not anything funny going on I think that that person is just not fun. Well when I came to recovery. I've I guess the old timer ice and what are we gonna do with all the free time when going to have because I spend every afternoon from 4 o'clock. Until 7:8 o'clock 9 o'clock midnight tour card story in a bar. I didn't drink your home or drinking borscht I said this guy when I was so what are my gonna do when moving forward I would be bored to death. He's if your boards featuring your boring. And he said if you were just program you'll have many free time. They. He will be amazed. That all of a sudden those hours you spend more you spend musing in a productive manner. What do you do with the timing you heat you have Steve. Full like when you said. In sobriety and the belt a lot more responsibilities when I would have had downtime and addictions because there really wasn't accomplishing much in terms of career or something on the lines and that so. Just the fact that I have more stuff to do win in the business world that keeps me gallon by. Buzz and stuff Fred does I have a have a great girlfriend we go out to eat I go to movies I go to concerts and sobriety angle campaign. I try to get away a vacation a couple times. And I can tell you that in addiction I was always looking for excitement and you know where the biggest party was. What I really love about recovery is downtime when there's nothing for media do like look forward to that now when I used to be on and you're always having to do something. A big thing for me is you know we put our deal work in you go to a meeting like I I look forward to a night when I don't have to do anything but sit on the couch or be with the family here. You with the girlfriend or just watch TV symbols don't like that holds a new meeting to mean now when he used to have to be had to be in the limelight earned. You know the good drunk as loud as part can be around. So both of you guys have talked about the fact that these are using in an early age. You try to be cleaner so word you're relapsed he's tried again and you're then you're working at that today you're working at being clean and sober. Friend. You're not a failure are you. I'm not a failure slight relapse wasn't. A failure relapse was just another step in your recovery. You graduate from college are different yes you have a job a career yes. And today you're successful part of society not just the recovery society of all society. And it hasn't. You're not a statistic today you are actually thriving. Human being and Steve you have your own business. You've overcome what people think of as a failure relapse being a failure and it's not. Relapse is simply. Also a step for some people or people don't relapse but for some people. They're relapse is part of the story. And you guys have overcome those relapses. To become. Successful in today's world we're proud of him being part of our community today. And that's what we get in recovery. And relapse again it's not a failure to doesn't mean that your week it doesn't mean that you're lazy we hear we hear all of these myths. Has anyone come up to you want to ask for help. I mean you're both on your both donate your work in the program your both sober. And did anyone reach out to you and say you know I see you do this and I need help. Because it seems safe to attempt to you that that this individual needs help. Yes I can say for myself and I'm sure probably Christine if that I have had multiple people reach out to me. Over the years been doing this for eighteen years and many people have asked me for help and I've had that. Joy and the honor of sharing my experiences with these people. Both are your personal life and your work life for abuse. I'm I'll say it openly frameworks in the recovery feel today yet and I see Fred at work every day and I know Fred is reaching out. And helping every single person he can't. Steve. Actually runs a home for people in recovery Steve has the best of what we call a sober house and he helps young men also got a little misty. What's nice because you get people long to get people that are fresh out of rehab and mourn the exact same shoes I was in three and a half years ago and if it helps me more than anything to help then you know you can see him struggle you can give them structure and and my friends and just be there for support I've had people. And now. In recovery asked me for help or even just as much as someone to talk to and I've even had people that we're in recovery. I friend's girl but that would call on scene along just I'm not having a good day and I know you'll be there to listen you know stuff like god made me feel great but he get plenty of people that need help and if they're at that point where they don't see a light at the end of the tunnel both they're more susceptible asking for help I think. So the message I have today is all those people whether they're family members or or people in addition right now they're listening. If you have tried stopping and you can't and you relapse it's okay. Call one of us wall help you that relapse is just part of this story. And it can be overcome. And you reach a successful and happy are you guys happy. Absolutely thread. 110%. But that's that's a wonderful thing to hear because. Recovery is possible and yeah thanks guys. We want to thank our sponsors that wanted to think clear about treatment centers around and get my attorney Jason Manny Ellie and large stone recovery. For making this show possible we also want to say special thanks to local artist capes that's 88. For creating this show's original music and appropriately named a new beginning. Thank you so much for listening everyone everybody on FaceBook live we're going to be back next Sunday here at noon have a great week.
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