10-29-17 Sharing Recovery

Sharing Recovery
Wednesday, November 1st

Guests are Karen and Mary Ellen

00:53:44

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Live from the double BY old peace can be used in Pittston Pennsylvania. Are welcomed sharing recovery. Straight talk on today's struggles of addiction and triumphs of recovery. Recovery is possible. Sharing your recovery is sponsored by. Clear brook treatment center serenity lives of my attorney Jason medio lean and our stone recovery senator. We welcome your calls with questions or comments to call 57083009. Weeks. Oh or 1804370098. The views expressed on the show or not necessarily those of Entercom communications staff management or sponsors here are your hosts Suzanne Kelly and Jack crop. Hello and welcome sharing recovery we're happy chose to spend time with us this afternoon. I'm Suzanne Kelly and fellow host Jack problem is with me. And I went to Jack celebrated nineteen years of recovery go to Jack. There recovery is about health hope and healing and we believe that recovery is possible. But we also note that too often silence equals death. Today we welcome Karen and Mary Ellen to Wear show Caron is in recovery for eight months. Mary Ellen is it licensed clinical social worker and certified advanced alcohol and drug counselor in Dickson city Pennsylvania. Mary Ellen has been in recovery for eighteen years. She recently published her book twelve steps on the rocks with a twist a few cents an early recovery. Now you are listeners and you want FaceBook and you following us on Twitter if he were very important to less. And we invite you to be part of today's conversation. You can reach us by calling 570. 830098. Or 1804370098. On Twitter we are at share recovery on FaceBook sharing recovery radio. Hello and welcome sue to Sharon's recovery thank you so much for being with us today and thanks for having me thinking am I serious knee. Karen and what it is to start with you and you told us before calmly went on the air that you are now. In eight months recovery celebrated today. And we're curious to know when he would please share with us a little bit about your background. How are you starting to I'm using. Whether it be alcohol drugs or door. Can you take us back to that first time. Storm. Well I'm always. Really kind of during halftime even in my 20s30s and so forth just within the past three years or so I have to say really got kind of bad. There was more of fame binge drinking it wasn't spent every game wake up and then start and just go the whole day or send the bar for a couple of hours. It was many free time and money and get home from work or the weekends. I wanted to. Just tired and. May just get away from everything anything that bothered me and went in to search and during it wasn't just one it was one after the other. From the minute I open the bottle until the minute I Durham went to bed. For. Pretty much. Blacked out. And it became every day currents. And it wasn't just an occurrence and actually was ended up being work done more than anything in my life which was. What does rock to be honest. There wasn't anything that was good about that and sound and took over a lot of stuff in my life. And sound. Where Leon had a very big impact on everything that I do and in my life. And it was just. I guess so in the last three years it just in. Consumed everything and in place admit binge drinking for myself. It was getting in you know get fed trained and once I was done just put the other for the other it just never stopped. You know it's just seem like I had to make up for lost time for the day or if it was on the weekend it was like. Just done. Don't you have a free day I have the whole day do what I need to do. And get to appoint wearing just won a telltale sit down relax have one. Well as every just outlined it was Lola just so the Lamar have another things that were planned for the day never got finished. A lot of stuff like that started. To affect everything in my life so you're saying that it became work on it lost its pleasure I mean it was dead that you did you really get any. Any good feelings no satisfaction to know there was no satisfaction after a while wasn't my just going to a party and have a few drinks and you know enjoying yourself. It was more of non. To be honest it was more of life come. The task and was that something that I would start. And and they were never finish until like I said it was either pass out. Blackout or got a bad. And it became so obsessive with everything I did I put that before everything. It was very. Overcoming. I never really got finished with a lot of things that I started throughout the day. You know and even after after coming home and edit it wasn't. It was an even just an excuse it was you know it was. Whether it was a bad day good day or rainy day sunny day it's in a manner. Everything was OK and let's have a drink for it you know that's just pretty much how it became such a Sasha and. That it wasn't fun it was just I need that you know all right get up and to go to. They even grocery shopping became like well okay we're gonna put the drink first not Lou drink before and grocery shopping but it was on the list first before anything. So it became more of fiesta filling obsession definitely a task that. I couldn't go through out the day without having that during and it wasn't even fun because I drank alone. I drained by myself for a good portion of my drinking. So it wasn't like I was with other people wasn't a social thing correct correct yeah it was more of myself. Behind closed doors in my own home. I didn't really I didn't go out to have the fun of delisting until banter don't to a concert you know it was just an even if I did. I would have one or two and then it was like OK let's go home because. Your home your savior your own house there's no driving. Ear just there. And that's where it just kind of really took over because of that inhabit. That it was like I'm in the Wallace. When Mary Ellen how about you what was your first time and can you kind of give us an idea when it started to snowball preempt. Yeah I would say on. Skype and eventually my first time as teenager young. Yeah own bag their knees and high school we thought that's what everybody did you know. And then there were times and it would get really crazy in my twenties and I would stop but I wouldn't identify myself as in in a recovery. I would kind of boasts that you know. I'm sober I don't drink. But I never really worked any programmer he did anything. And I had a quite a number of years I guess you would say is a dry drunk. So then back in I guess it was 98. I decided to pack up my life I was not drinking at that time. Time in Florida. And I was Dennis sinking Florida and I'll never forget when I picked up my first drink I was working in the kitchen and a bar on the beach and the two women who owned it. Got them a loan that they wanted to be able to keep the bar restaurant open and they popped open a thing champagne. And my disease had me convinced that it was absolutely OK for me to have a drink champagne. Thumb to celebrate with them. And from that point on it I went hard I went fast. Thumb that was probably in late June or July and by December even before that I mean I was a mess I stopped going to work. There really it became unmanageable. We've got a couple little thing can you help our listeners I'm get a better understanding of what is a dry drunk. And someone who just doesn't drink but. You know doesn't look at themselves with my definition of a dry drunk who's just an angry person because they don't drink. Men that they are now working on trying to go deeper with what's going on for them and their disease of addiction. And you know they might chase Maryland. I came to a recovery program in 1998. When. But I didn't surrender to that program and that's form of recovery. Until much later 2006 through 2007 I spent eight years. Occasionally attending meetings occasionally talking to what we call sponsored. But never ever giving in and finally surrendering. And and I found myself in a difficult situation one day. And through that situation I said. Now white guys right and that was the first time and that happened while I was imprisoned. I was imprisoned when. Her but I said now what god and that when I came home my right your home a few months after that much. That was my first decided that I needed to do something more then just not drink. Because just not drinking is awful. You know in the end though that's just it's an awful place to me. The world around you isn't getting better or your perception in the world is around you saying the same. Nothing's getting better. But now I have nothing to deal with my feelings my emotions my problems. Freddie it's just trying drawn here is that he's just a horrible horrible it's worse than being drunk. Yeah you know I mean when I was are gonna my masters and Mary what I was in a dry drunk phase that. Looking back now I probably. Took into the drinking night I lived through school and work. You know one obsession was replaced by another obsession. But I'll be honest with you but before I even graduated I fell off the wagon. My last year Mary wouldn't. You know there's a number of spots in my life. Where. I was really sick with my disease. You know I look back I would make a pot of coffee in the morning but I would only make half a pop because the other half out port blew a right and and in my diseased mind I was just get a cup of coffee. I hope you know which is this for some people really hard to imagine they they can't fathom that. I can't imagine dream hello again. Oh yeah my head a little doubt in my. I'll never. Okay we're gonna be right back so we need to take a short break please stay with us. Since 1972. Clear that treatment center has been providing successful treatment for those suffering from substance abuse clear Brooks medical program provides round the clock care and treatment. From a licensed and specialized medical team. They're bricks approach to addiction is largely based on the proven practices other alcoholics anonymous has store services are available to patients seeking spiritual guidance. Called clear that today at 5702602600. Jason met the only Izzy personally injury and criminal defense lawyer prepared to fight for you. Attorney met he only has an exceptional record of defending the rights. Of those arrested for do you lie in drug offenses. He also represents victims of tractor trailer an automobile accidents. Premises liability product defects and work related accidents. If you are a loved one has been arrested or injured call attorney Mehdi only at 5709611616. Art stone recovery center of the palm beaches provides addiction treatment senator within a small personal community kind. For nearly two decades arch tone has helped thousands suffering from alcohol and chemical dependency is recover. And regain control of their lives are stones medical. Clinical and support staff. Provide the highest level. A professional treatment and individualized care color storm recovery center -- trying to find 8992292. Serenity lunches in safe structured supervise sober living community. Three young men located in the beautiful mountains of Susquehanna county Pennsylvania. Serenity lodge has perfected. The missing peace between addiction treatment and real life serenity Elijah teaches how to use the principles of recovery along with age appropriate life skills. Call serenity lunch today at five cents and 06508205. Welcome back to sharing recovery straight talk once and he struggles on addiction and triumphs of recovery. Recovery is possible we welcome your calls for. All 570830098. Or 18043700. And I mean when you were euros us Suzanne Kelly in check probably. And welcome back to sharing recovery on today's topic is women in recovery. And we have with us in the studios we have Karen and Mary Ellen before the break we were talking that's something that's called. They dry drunk and what a dry drunk is menu stopped drinking you start using. But you're really not taking those steps those next steps to improve. The quality of your life and to do self reflection and and all the work there really is necessary. Off for you to stay in recovery. I'm Karen did you go to that faced a dry drunk Jimmy just stop drinking for a period but yet there was that banks there was something. Still missing thank you relived it looking to fill a void. Actually no I never did. Go through the dry drunk period I have heard a lot of people talk about it and I've heard experiences on it. That's one thing that I never again I never really tried to stop than any one given time and just say OK let me try to do this myself. And zero or take me so I'm pretty much just drank continuously anonymity and had a shot at any time that I was drinking. And you know addiction. SI know what has changed dramatically in the nineteen years I've been recovering. You know a person using opiates. They're they're not in. I try to entrees and you just don't stop use and over just one day right and say I'm not gonna use this for the weaker true and and going through that phase because of withdraw all pan am and the stuff that happened when we stop what we're not supervise who for an hour supervised as we. Remove ourselves from the opiates. It can be very very dangerous and remove ourselves from alcohol also just by stopping is danger but I. The addiction is changed dramatically. And we hear everybody's argument just albeit crisis that re great now and that that's what has occurred in the last nineteen years I change there Mary Ellen I mean what where are we see in the dictionary means. You know I think one of those things we need to be really careful love is all the attention the opiates yet. Not to memorize it but there's just as many people abusing Ben's those anatomy and the and per cassettes and and an alcohol you know alcohol and they're combining them. And it's a deadly combination. There's quite a number of people who were you know stuck on the climate and xanax. And I love the fact that we're giving you so much attention Ethiopia an epidemic because we're losing people constantly. It's into horrific epidemic. But in my book I even mentioned like don't close your eyes to all of these other substances that people are abusing because people are dying every day. Right. So now here we are good too we're in recovery and didn't care what was that final straw that push you to say. I need help was an employer you know a loved one family member what what caused this that it is okay I'm gonna stop. They're hurt quite a few times I have to say. There wasn't anybody except. A lot of speaking with my son I have only one son and he was sending down a lot of times and and talk to me and you know there was tear filled times and emotional times and that's an even make you wanna stop and one day and I come even pinpoint and try to tell you the truth. What actually made me stop. That was like hey I woke up 1 morning and you know the alarm clock went off and said that's an amateur stuff I may get help I'm an easy recovery and everything is going to be fine today. I drink that day and just like any other day. And later in the evening. It was just some things somehow some door opens and finally. Something hit me in the heart or over the head and said EU need help you cannot do this alone you cannot. You know that the thought in my head it was agree occurring after awhile. To say you know what you really need to stop you know he really means to get back contract with your lives you need. To focus on your family on your living on everything that you seem to have just. If I decided to strike so wasn't a person in particular date that. The main my mind up. It was. It was a sign and I think they're really do it was like an opening up another door it wasn't even. It was it was just an opportunity that came Powell and I don't know where it came from. And I picked up the phone and I made a phone call and that was my first step. It wasn't anybody pressuring me or are saying you have to do this I learned to. In my earlier time of blood alcohol drinking it was sat. I'm the only one who needs to change my life I'm the only one that can make fast first step. I can listen to everybody. And anybody but until I as a person and actually determined. And willing to get the help that I mean. I'm the one to make that decision I have to listen show watched so many commercials on television you know to reach out loved ones and so on and so forth. And all of the top ten and then listening to everybody but. Actually when it comes down until my heart is that when you're really ready. And you know year when you know somehow you know inside yourself to make that first stuff you well. Long arms are sharply or Donna. I am I'm done but thinks tank in my case I had no intention. I didn't intend to stop drinking. But I woke up 1 morning and so we just had to meet you you're getting help her get out. And I said sure I mean SI even a bigger deal in my mind I'll go get help and that was on Wednesday on Friday I went to a meeting at noon time and recovery group. And I haven't had a drink since but it wasn't my intention to walk in that room and stop drinking. Now that's my point that I try to make all the time that people think everybody's path to recovery is different and tell you there is not have one. There's no one path everybody's path is different how did you get here. You know I. Geez I thank you remember like it was yesterday I woke up but I'm not New Year's Day 1999. And my crooked little apartment by myself and my danger little dump of the place in saint Pete Florida. And I woke up thinking. If I keep doing this I am going to be dead. I remember going up for New Year's Eve I remember the bartender what major anger but then at some point blackout came. And then the next thing I knew I was waking up in my little crooked apartment. Fans alike and thinking I mean I felt like junk and it was if I keep doing this I am going to die. And that was it for me you know I got mention in the locales for me if I woke up and I couldn't remember if I had taken my underwear off to go the bathroom and I before. And some people left for that but for me that was like just disgusting in it was like I can't believe I was dead and that. That I can you remember a simple thing like that and then it was just that's it I'm done. You mentioned black custom. I was him in a meeting one time in a guy slow to react to him he should did you ever have a blackout. I said I have one black count. He should really and he came here in my black I was 1968. To 1990 patient I've got a black and thirty years they have this time. I had no idea before exams are recovering what do blackout was I just not that. Yeah I have blackouts every time I drank. And I drinks on a daily basis I wasn't my chair and I didn't go home and sit home and have drinks I went to a bar every day of the week. And and I talked a lot about. I'm not a real social person affect our social anxiety I don't like crowds are going be around people. And I walked in a bar every day of the week but I it was a loan demand far and that's hard for some people understand that the other bar had a hundred people. But I was alone my when they're alone I left there alone and I was in Merrill alone and I like to being the lone. So. I just especially when my mind just rumblings there's another blackout. I can't go ahead that's I didn't know that's where blackout was I just know I went to bed at night. Drunk. Passed out I don't want to work the next day and had no clue. What I did the night before had a call somebody multimillion. And I called my say Gary were were we last night what went on and and what do I do please save me you don't really want me tell you what you did. And writes most of us I might say yes tell me and I go Z so we'll go to a different Hornaday. But that's that's that's why like for me was the slice was a black. Account I like being alone because and I didn't have to be accountable to anybody rank. I had nobody telling then you're drinking too much or you're a mess are you need help you know I tried to keep that face up. You know I would go to work I reached. I your I was worker from the state of Florida I I would look in that office and my coworkers or look at me and I knew they could smell the boos coming out of my. You know might my skin. But I wasn't alone I have a wife and three kids right business around but. I think this day I can't tell you what I was trying to escape because of I hear we we all hear people talk about how their family was just phone sure they didn't feel like they fit in or something wasn't right I never felt that we're going to come a time there was a little kids. I thought I was the center of attention I thought everybody wanted to be like me. You know you you talk about it escaping an end you don't you know my family minister arena with the excuses. But we have a question from under FaceBook page and the question that Linda I'm poses is very good. A with drugs and alcohol use vs abuse is there really considered a disease or is it addiction I mean is this a gay disease Mary Ellen. You know without a doubt I I mean. It's a disease it's a disease you know there's an a free search out there now and show that there's a genetic component within the cat scan and MRI studies to show that in the deeper part of the brain. There is something different about those of us who have this disease of addiction. And then do you run on into your practice do you have on those who use it as an excuse and not have this disease and there's nothing I can do because I'm pre disposed so I'm just gonna keep doing it sure and then. You know we give did the usual it was cancer you have a choice you have a choice you know nobody asks for cancer will nobody asks to be an addict. But we have choices you can choose to go for chemo you can choose to follow doctor's orders. Well I can choose as an addict to go for treatment I can choose to go to recovery programs. So. It's a big debate some people say how could you compare it to cancer diabetes. This is a disease do you think it's safe to say that everyone must send by one of us I mean collectively those listening those watching right now. Do you think it's safe to say that we all known addict what do we know how I. Without a doubt yeah yeah without a doubt it's a big for me doing this is many years as I have nutritionally isn't sound to me he's been nervous just a drive down 81. Because there's so many people who abuse. Ben's nose and -- Gibson big Anderson is at it touches every single person's life and the person who is sitting there thinking oh not me. You would be shocked because guess what it does touch your life as well somebody you know is abusing. We're gonna start Q I talk a little bit more about your book because you sent just fascinating to some fascinating things. And we wanna share with all of our listeners and our viewers we do need to take a quick break and we'll be right back. Arched stone recovery center of the palm beaches provides addiction treatment senator within the small personal community types. For nearly two decades arch tone this helps thousands suffering from alcohol and chemical dependency. Recover. And regain control of their lives are stones medical. Clinical and support staff. Provide the highest level. Professional treatment and individualized care color storm recovery center 8558992292. Jason met the only Izzy personally injury and criminal defense lawyer prepared to fight for you. Attorney met the only has an exceptional record of defending the rights of those arrested for do you lie in drug offenses. He also represents victims of tractor trailer an automobile accidents. Premises liability product defects and work related accidents. If you are a loved one has been arrested or injured call attorney Mehdi only at 5709611616. Serenity lunches in safe structured supervise sober living community. Three young men located in the beautiful mountains of Susquehanna county Pennsylvania. Serenity lodge has perfected. The missing peace between addiction treatment and real life serenity lodged teaches how to use the principles of recovery along with age appropriate life skills. Call serenity lunch today at 5706508205. Since 1972. Clear that treatment center has been providing a successful treatment for those suffering from substance abuse clear Brooks medical program provides round the clock care and treatment. From a licensed and specialized medical team. They're bricks approach to addiction is largely based on the proven practices other alcoholics anonymous has store services are available to patients. Seeking spiritual guidance. Call Claybrook today at 5702602600. This is double BYUK. Powered by Sherwood Chevrolet Buick GM CE online venture would Chevrolet dot com. Welcome back to sharing recovery straight talk on today's struggles on addiction and triumphs of recovery and recovery is possible we welcome your calls for. All 570830098. Or 180437009. And Angel you're euros us Suzanne Kelly and check. Robert moon and welcome back to sharing recovery. We're gonna talk and a little bit about Mary Ellen's book twelve steps on the rocks with a twist. Effusive sense early recovery and what I found. Very very and fascinating about. Mary owns book is it a few cents in early recovery and me and Caron wanna start with you know you have been in recovery for eight months press have been a cakewalk. I know me and I hang I don't know enough. Unknown pastures sure. Okay I care. Yes it's it's a day by day process. It's are trying for every twice for hours I've learned that you he can't fast forward or speed ahead. Some days are good some days are bad some days you have to domain if I and then a second my second it all depends. It's so. Jerry how did you get started recovery Euro treatment program. I didn't go to trainer program. Because I knew I couldn't stop by myself I knew I needed the help. Of others to start of the did the recovery process. There would be no way that I can actually stop on my own. And then from there. I didn't know what I was in four these are talking about. Sponsors and meetings and after care and I'm like oh boy what is all this you know I went in with such a. A blind mind I had no clue what I was walking into and I walked through the doors are recovering. And I'll tell you what it was the best thing in my life that I have backed by could've done for myself. And when I got out and I started to intimate meetings. Meetings are the backbone you know as far as as I'm concerned and. Regardless if he goes to. Meanings if you think I'll go for a couple years I'll be fine. This is a lifelong command then you know if you really wanna stay sober. And through Reno limit peaceful life you have to maintain its its main maintenance every day. And the prayers the same thing the sponsors the people to reach out to the phone calls to make they're so important to stay. Where your app right now it is so easy. I believe that you can just you know relapses and turned the wrong way in an instant if you don't continuously get the help and support that you need. I myself go to at least five meetings a week. I'm but going over the steppes with my sponsors. Be you know reaching out to people because that's my support system. That's a good support system. For everybody who's in the recovery process I believe. You know there's there's hope and he really be you know I have learned so much that really is what really six there like I said before as every Tony for hours. You know don't wake up and think you're gonna we you know take over a whole week of one hand fall is just doesn't work LA at least in my eyes were. It was my first recovery meetings there was a fellow there that I had seen I know all my life they must Sammy agony he's passed away from cancer so I don't mind state isn't it. Did you go to that meeting an imminent meaning yet there he said I need to talk to. And he said here you're gonna say to you he said this all you need for today is don't drink can come back tomorrow. And that muscles symbol. And that's how things have to be from me up I mean I spent my life in the landscaping business and everything was only drawing there was no thinking involved. Put treating him hole a it was simple. And that's how I like things and he said to me just don't drink can come back tomorrow. And that's how I got started by by that simple. That's simple Monroe for me made I story being carried you heard me say and I guess I don't know we've beaten them every day of the week. Because that is how I did this just I didn't dream that one day. And I met him the next day at a church and I went to another meeting and he's okay no we're just not good drink today Norah do it again tomorrow. And that's how I got started. Again I emphasize this all the time that's how I did it for my program of recovery in your program of recovery don't have to be the same but they don't they aren't the same they're they're different everybody's. Recovery program is different. But you have to work our program I think getting Jack tell Jack program Mike Kelly government more you look in the mirror and say OK Jack what are we doing today. And that's where I go to the next step in my recovery. Is. And that's going to confuse some oh listeners who are not true doctor Bob is from doctor Bob and Joseph Wilson found that a recovery program which will remain nameless here. Doctor Barbara prescription. And doctor about prescription made is so simple for me it was clean house so I talked to people every day what was going on in my life. Trust god. Well. I am telling you I did not intend to stop drinking. I mean and I'm Irish counting it's a birth rate to be (%expletive) faced every so it's somebody help me stop drinking beyond me. And and help others. And help others part is action where this show came from and it's how I try to live my life on a daily basis. And her people are listening to know we from twenty years ago they don't believe that and that's okay I'm not I've not been done doesn't bother me. They are trying to help people every day. So that's how my recovery program worked for NASCAR stars from me barrel what was like for you in the beginning. I really simplified my life once I decided to stop. I became a housekeeper. I was probably the most educated toilets Gruber. In Pinellas County Florida if I knew I needed to keep things simple I knew I needed to focus on myself and my recovery. Com and down there there was a great little place called a re boasts which is sober backwards I don't think it's there anymore but it was a sober club. And I eventually got a job next to this over club and then. They kind of became my second office site I ran a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents. And half the time I would spend over at re both hanging out ways. Some people recovery doing my boat or command dissident from work I had to do from my job and sit in our meeting in nearly nine go back over to. Did they academy which is the school that the boys and girls were end. And I just everyone involved more involved than I ever imagined I would more involved than I had anticipated. Because boy it felt good. It felt good to have that faith and the hand that's supporter. Eighteen years later. She's still take one day at a time oh my gosh sometimes I take it minute by minute okay. Yeah it's constant work in progress I'm not participate a program can you know what I do but because of my job and confidentiality. What I was doing in saint Pete it was a little easier because it was a city. And so I got a real big lesson when I moved back here and small town USA. And I learned to use online. We meetings. So that I can kind of be Mary Ellen. They're recovering alcoholic and now Mary Ellen the licensed clinical social worker I put up but I you know I don't claim to be an expert I don't claim to be the guru. I'm somebody with a bunch of letters behind my name a whole lot of education. And who's also an alcoholic and a drug addict. So for me is and I've learned it's best to use my supports. Get my readings and my prayer and that kind of daily routine but also for my meetings use online. OK so just a point or. He then everybody's recovery for everybody's is different Taylor for them yet and may use the tools that they have and they are comfortable with yeah. Then and that's Frederick tell communities don't be frightened by this don't be frightened that there isn't a structure that there's amend your. Class planned that you must do these things can recover. What you must do is ask for help that's that's the first that's so yes the important thing is if zero they're listening to this show. And you're seeing less grief remembered that she has all those degrees are caring had a job I don't have any of that stuff how or why you get help. By asking by saying I need help what how how and why get help. Yeah and where we go to get started with help. I think asking for help but also being open minded. Open minded was probably one of the biggest parts that helped me. Kitten. You know into my recovery instead of thinking that you know you're way is wrong or my can do a better I don't need people you knowing that. Talks about the strongest person is the one who's able to ask for help what the next piece of that is being open minded. To doing it another way. And we we also know I'm all too well about the secrecy dust and shame they have removed and as a society there's still that that's shame. You know it's not my family you know not in my backyard that sort of thing so. So how old. You know how do you recommend or or what was it that allowed you to get past the shame factor did you feel shame. Karen were you worried about what people thought or how they reacted to cure of the stigma of of adventure and yeah did it affect you in any any incident affect me I felt that I just wanna see in my own little shell even when he came to recovery an end. Feel that I wanted to just burst out I just tell everybody you know was like a big party or picnic. I was I was a little lenient about just opening up to everything but don't I had to face the fact that this is reality this is my life. And this is you know if people like me the way and then. You know still want to be my friend and then Shanley whose support me so much and now did you have a lot of friends and actually have been their forming. I I mean now have been more open with that but in the beginning no I wasn't Jack I was there really can't. That's very shy about it you know as long as I was really embarrassed to be honest. Well and I hear a lot of people. Saying they don't want anybody know there are recovery and they don't want anybody to know we have this problem. And my answer to that is I really didn't care if people saw me laying on the floor of a bar yep thrilled people. Seen really in my front yard because the limo pulled over front of my house and they've got guys roll me on I was laying in the grass or. You know the route one Mega Millions in my backyard and and does so we're just let me lay there and I woke up this morning that drinking Miami I just started up again and since I didn't care about any of that. I'm going to be a shame that somebody ECB going to me buy me a recovery meeting. No I'm not I try to be as open what people as I can't and I am trying to remove the stigma of invention. As little better at math and I have the power to do happen. If I just keep telling people bought me and I tell people my daughter was also in recovery you know let people know that. It's not the guy under the bridge Creighton I mean there's doctors lawyers are. Features there's nurses there's truck driver I mean I know a guy then that's a welder on a nuclear power plant. And and he's doing opiates every day you know it's like you. Everywhere is in there's nothing to be ashamed up. That there's that we have we have a problem we do we have to get better spent the first word recovery is weak I can do so lonely can't do this. Like looking in the mirror and just wake up astronomers say okay today we're not going to be an attic today we're gonna be recovered and that's just not possible I need to help. They show you people everybody needs to help others. It and that's that's how I look at this every. Mary Ellen did you read the book to help. Hill is kind of interesting. The book initially started as my as a blonde I am I have a blog with the same title. And the first entry was. More of an emotional reaction to. Speaker that I heard about. The legalization of marijuana. Then I kinda just became this weekly thing and then I saw you know what. I need to put all this stuff together yeah. Ayman adding I knew we selfish part of that blog and part of that book who helped me stay sober. Darren are probably one of the roughest years. But then I thought to myself. When my experiences I could be able to help somebody else. Hopefully. You know get on the road to recovery or get through one more day or one more hour. I'm just bite my own experiences you know my head stones not gonna say the best therapist or work you know the best to you know addictions counselor it's gonna say. Sister or daughter. You know some friend and so it was important for me to look at those. Titles that I carrying going need to be the best person nineteen BS the exact you know in those realms. Followed talk more about your book I. Serenity lunches in safe structured supervise sober living community. Three young men located in the beautiful mountains of Susquehanna county Pennsylvania. Serenity lodge has perfected. The missing peace between addiction treatment and real life serenity lodged teaches how to use the principles of recovery along with age appropriate life skills. Call serenity lunch today at 570650. 8205. Since 1972. Clear that treatment center has been providing successful treatment for those suffering from substance abuse clear Brooks medical program provides round the clock care and treatment. From a licensed and specialized medical team. They're bricks approach to addiction is largely based on the proven practices. Other alcoholics anonymous has store services are available to patients seeking spiritual guidance. Call Claybrook today at 5702602600. Jason Mehdi Oly Izzy personally injury and criminal defense lawyer prepared to fight for you. Attorney met the only has an exceptional record of defending the rights. Of those arrested for do you lie in drug offenses. He also represents victims of tractor trailer an automobile accidents. Premises liability product defects and work related accidents. If you are a loved one has been arrested or injured call attorney that he only at 5709611616. Art stone recovery center of the palm beaches provides addiction treatment senator within the small personal community kind. For nearly two decades arch tone has helped thousands suffering from alcohol and chemical dependency. Recover. And regain control of their lives are stones medical. Clinical and support staff. Provide the highest level. A professional treatment and individualized care color storm recovery sooner 8558992292. Hi this is frank Andrews I've been a radio talk host television news reporter and anchor that was. State lawmakers probably in your living room for many years good to be back to talk to you about your. You and your family so whether it's local politics national news we're just the stuff you talk about and work for your dining room table or on your ride home. Let's discuss it weekdays from three to six right here WI LOK news radio. Both frank and Bruce show. Starts Monday October 30 bundled UYE a pain in his radio. Welcome back to sharing recovery straight talk. On today's struggles on addiction and triumphs of recovery and recovery is possible we welcome your calls for. All 570830098. Or 180437009. And eight. You're euros us Suzanne Kelly in general problem. And welcome back to sharing recovery today's topic is women in recovery. I'm very on the planet I am asking this question and kind of get some of your feedback on because in your book you you know you write about. How. Those with interests want to push ahead hobbies in miracle metal what marijuana or having. I'm marijuana mean more in a more available throughout throughout the states. On Thursday I from the Associated Press are ross' Franklin. Wrote a piece of pharmaceuticals found her rescued. An alleged nationwide opium scheme and this is a billionaire with a beach he had billionaire founder insists therapeutics downpour. I'm basically is accused of conspiring to bribe doctors with large numbers to right large numbers of prescriptions. For a very potent drug for cash cancer patients. Yet these patients. Don't have cancer. So. When you're looking at at partnering with physicians to help you or you put your trust in physicians or or any professional. I'm for the betterment of your health you're against something like this. Yes you know the sad reality when I look at it and I break everything down. It's all about money yes there really isn't and that's just so sad. When I look at how Purdue pharmacy. Marketed OxyContin initially they light they lied to these doctors they said oh there's only a 3% you know addiction rate. Years later we discovered no debt may flat out lied. And it's all about the money same with the whole deal medical marijuana dispute. One of the things I learned and yeah I've got friends who smoke god love them I love my friends but then they respect me and I respect them. But you know that does speaker compared it to the cigarette industry and how was years later. All of these secret memos came out and results of secret research that. This cigarette companies released saying we knew all along this wasn't Dick though we'd like to you. You know this whole medical marijuana. Movement that's going on there is a lot. That people do not realize they don't realize it was on the board in some of these states. Making these decisions they don't understand. The Paxson the money being spent to try to convince people that it's okay. Found. Well on the flip side there's a whole lot of research out there that shows you know the negative react you know with negative consequence is still. So sadly the end it's all about the dollar bill how about the Benjamin's. On that the Benjamin's all of them out and just enough when NM and I'm sure it's more about the money as I power instant control room. So now we're at a point in the show relate to talk about the good part of this what's recovery like how's life now Karen. Oh life is just amazing I have to say Jack. Every day. It's just I wake up I actually I feel happy I mean even when there's bad days at work. There's just happiness inside myself right now. And I can't even explain it to be honest with you it's just a good feeling it's like we're listening to overly great song on the radio they of love for years. It's just wonderful I don't know it's just it's almost like you doing this every day and feeling this great. There's no reason that he now that I should never turn back my. Have a life and recovered I do have a life recovery outer. I had thrown everything all bluff a hundred times better definitely Barry O'Neill revelation recovery bubble yeah you know I gotta say though it's not always. You know Barnes and rainbows without a doubt Brad I still did I not relaxing cap you know not all right you know on me I'm coming up I'll be nineteen years on January 1. I look at the things that I've been able to do and hang. And because of my recovery I was able to be home with my family and beam by my dad's side when he crossed over how they've been using I I would have never been here. I've been able to get a stronger relationship with my sister. I just can't even begin to. Talk about her and how much I admire her and her strange I have is ads because of my recovery. And here you just send you to develop a relationship with your sister but her situation -- families don't you repair to correct I mean I I vote I haven't talked to my brother and other than a couple of words in the last nineteen years I've tried. I've done all I can. And he's not receptive to that kind. Panic yet just because we got three covering a life gets better and we start to enjoy life and things of Rosie it does not mean that every problem is going to go. Heaven is no clear out a million dollar though it none of that yet we will have the tools to deal with life yet. Without drugs and alcohol that's what I learned here is twice what can I mean nerve because we all work at this it's not. You don't want you when they get a ticket punched an essay you don't have to come back you have to work your recovery on a daily basis. And if you do work Jerry you will be able to deal with life's ups and downs yes you'll ever our friend Tommy he likes to call life lasagna who know how. Downed lasagna needle. No real. But sometimes don't peaks are much higher. And sometimes the values are much lower but staying in a program to having others in your life you get tools you need to deal or those things. That's what I found here don't want anybody ever being confused and think oh Faisal during Geist abusing. I'm gonna get a Cadillac Williams nice job and make house and my wife and kids and everybody else who love me again now that they're not that's our promise. I think when my favorites things is as long as I don't do one thing there's a million things I can do. Don't win and I knew it and do the minute I do that one thing which is the pick up her all bets are off but as long as I don't do one thing which is pick up. There's a million things I can do. And sharing you being no. Being in recovery do you believe there are also then if you if you start to drink again you'll destroy whatever it is you're starting to build. Almost certainly yeah I was a 100% was dead that's actually current tacked down without a doubt. I feel I'm being so small settings sounds and my recovery right now but as a lifelong journey. And insulated plunger into and I'm very happy with even and being so short time in recovery. It's it's meant a lot of a lot of things stronger in my life. And I don't ever want to see that come back and go to this dark side that I was once before. I know I in nineteen years. I have. Developed a relationship was my family that I didn't have. Prior to that. And I'm our relationship was other people that I couldn't have happened if I wasn't recovered but I also believe that if I take one drink. That all goes away I don't have the Big Ten drinks I don't know being thrown for a I have to pick off one drink. And I lose all of that and I might not ever get it back I don't know if I relapsed. Well I ever have a relationship with Carly like I have today were workhorse the rest of the family and I say Carly because she's in good recovery with me. Don't we want this journey together I don't know that that I can ever get any of them back. So there are days when I wake up and say am I really an alcoholic. Because when I just stop drinking one to ensure and and although. The horror stories in my world a much greater than some might pending cameras will be I mean I didn't go to prison twice I have been bankruptcy three times. I lost my business I lost everything like Carly didn't talk to me for a year I mean that's the most painful thing I'm all I lost. Was at twelve months without the girl lost with curly. But. So yeah I wake up someday and say. I just stop drinking and my really an alcoholic toward really a problem there my answer to that is is not worth it to find out. It is just too expensive for me to find out. Maybe oh maybe I can be a social drinker I mean not I heard guys say recently maybe you only had a drinking problem that that you weren't really an addict for using the slowdown. The cost is too great for me to find out I'm not willing to take that risk today. Yeah my user vs an abuser. You know. Isn't there is there a formula I mean when do you. Become who you get that tipping point where it just continues and it spirals yeah I think it's different for everybody I know for me one of the things I look at is. When does your life become unmanageable. Does the manageability is that is the tipping point yeah. But you know in my case I didn't recognize our management. I honestly thought that this stuff going on in my life losing no business going bankrupt and you're having a New York State Police raid my office I just thought that was part of life from part of business and what's the big deal. I didn't recognize that is unmanageable. So again everybody's journey is different now at what point Karen did you say well you explain until they do enough is enough and enough. Does enough yet I didn't even know one it was a national I don't realize it was a manageable I do I had to figure out how. To be honest they I had no clue. I didn't even know that it was considered a disease and so literally actually got help and makes sense to me now. But and it was also cold and allergy. When I've been told south high skies this blue remains the only thing out. Fastow. We want to say thank you to labor treatment centers serenity lodge attorney Jason Matt Healey an artist don't recovery for making this show I. So while. We're also want to thank local artist eight XK eight for creating the shows need an original music. And it's appropriately named a new beginning and we'll be back next week here and W I'll pay it nearly. We're also going to have on our FaceBook page name linked to marry an ambulance and we'll. I highly recommend. I'm taking me. Twelve steps on the rock with a twist. A few sips of early recovery thank you all so much to show him available online tomorrow and obviously more heavily. Have a great great week everyone.
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