Sharing Recovery 14 on 12-17-17

Sharing Recovery
Sunday, December 17th

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From the double BY a case to be using Pittston Pennsylvania. Welcome to sharing a recovery. Firsthand stories of addiction and recovery or recovery is possible. Cheering recovery is sponsored by clear brook treatment center. Are still recovering. And attorney Dave begins. We welcome your calls with questions or comments or call 570830098. Or 18043700. And I mean to you or your posts. Suzanne Kelly and chain problems. And hello and welcome to today's cheering recovery. We're very happy that you decided to us and some time with us this afternoon I'm Susie and Kelly and I am joined by co host Jack crap. Ku recently celebrated nineteen years of sobriety so if this is this is quite awesome to be sitting next to Jack he's amazing incredible inspiration to assault your. Sherri recovery is about help and it's about promise in its about healing because we're here because we believe that recovery is possible and healing is possible. What we're not here to do sell an end this is just something that that I mean getting some feedback over the last few weeks is. Questions when people ask why are you celebrating accept. Well that's not with this is about the this is actually about celebrating recovery. Because you know those who are in recovery and those who stay in recovery every single day. Get up and say I'm not going to use. And yes it is possible and absolutely that is something to be encouraged and that's something to do be celebrated so I just wonder and kind of make that clear to anyone who would be wondering why would we would be celebrating acts. It's not the addiction but here's what we also believe we also believe that people are more then their addiction. That's and we want to welcome today's guest Jeff Brown Jeff is it 45 year old Carbondale NATO's. He is cross addicted alcohol and drugs but he's been clean and sober for over twelve years. During this time he just has sponsored approximately 300. People. Throughout northeastern Pennsylvania. Thomas for the last eight years he's been putting together twelve step workshops. What's really cool down Jeff we're gonna talk a lot about this today. Is on he's been writing for about seven years now. And up published the first of the series of inspirational books this past June called inspiration with explanation Jeff welcome. Thank you very much from England to be here thanks for element is wonderful to have you here so if we could just kind of back up a little bit and if you could share with our listeners. Where did you start with your. You're actual journey with addiction was it something that was recreational wasn't you know pain related accident related because we all have stories about what just. You know what made us cross that line. In hindsight and it was hindsight it was definitely required to find the root my my addiction. I found that around the age of fourteen. And relationship problems the fear of being alone actually is where where this all started for me. Once that fierce and end. It seemed like things started coming undone. And throughout the process that the twelve step process I was able to move to backtrack and find those root causes. And understand and see clearly what that feared dead to me where it led me the fear caused me to start lying to myself about things. The simplest way to put it I guess says Saddam. A girlfriend left me. The fear of being alone says then and because I didn't wanna fix it gets started manifesting into the other defects of character I started telling myself. Told my goodness what am I going to do without this girl but my one shot at happiness and. Fourteen years old Ford junior who peace items that you had a problem for the rest of your life. And then thank you set you back tracked you realize now that atmosphere. Absolutely and when I first came to recovery. I went to see a man who I am known outside recovery. And he had been in my recovery now for a period of time I went to see them. I told excellent Peter I quit drinking so what are we doing now. Any look at me and he said. Here's all you need to know there's always fear and love. And you walked away from me and I was nineteen years ago I haven't talked to him since then when he wants to where I was upset. Because I want to him look for some kind of advice I mean I wanted to be profound. Well I didn't realize is he gave me something profound and he gave me something that took me years and years and in recovery. To understand and to work on that fear is the root of all of our problems. So at fourteen you found this for your what did you do Jeff. I didn't like the way it felt so I had to find a way to get rid of that feeling that negative feeling a negative emotion and drugs and alcohol of course did the trek and so any time I drinker drugs that feeling of fear would lift the debt on accountability that that came anytime I thought about that would go away. For a couple hours. I'd wake up the next day all the fear would be back of course and that started when you're fourteen you weren't thinking that you're the only away about the fear right you're just a fourteen you like to weigh yourself to examine you had no idea what was your feeling these guys are drinking eight years old. But I never felt uncomfortable whenever felt fear I just started to drink because I was raised an Irish Catholic family. And I knew feeling the way I did after I would take sips of other people's drinks but I liked it. But I didn't identify and ran up an issue that I but I was feeling anything. So we yeah we can see that in hindsight we're going to argue guarantee him because. Let's just had third wherever you it definitely was a hindsight thing it's milk I'm of the belief that and basically as part of the first up if I knew what the problem was there was a fighting chance of correcting it and I didn't at the time so all I could do was. Dream up ways of getting rid of that to the best of my ability and I'm. Did. It led me down there and then again in hindsight I realize now that that that fear. Because some internal dishonesty it was lying to myself about where happiness comes from my friends. The dishonesty ultimately turned into selfishness. And I do it got to a point where. I needed when I needed in order to feel. OK about my so it's a bit awkward time in life obviously with the government goes through that those high school years like tell you don't know you wanna finish and you want to belong. You wanna be different but not to a different math. And if dues spent. It seemed like that's where I fit and so I was fourteen so like thirty threes. We started out using something to show little matter how bad did he get. And it went up to you and probably. As I left high school lawyer enlisted in the military right out of high school friends that. Assuming that that was going to be the solution. And that now everything's going to be different as a new beginning a fresh start and end unfortunately there wasn't. Eight big. I do enlisted in the military and he flew me to Scotland and a nice about a couple years there where the drinking age is only seventeen and there is now eighteen and how I can do this legally. Spend. But then again in hindsight I didn't realize at the time you just flew me 3000 miles away from everyone I knew and loved no fear of being alone his big new your honor it's it's just compound a bit so. More and more fear makes for more and more drinking. And how much does that go a little bit if we could with your fourteen years old and you started using alcohol and drugs. At first just alcohol and it. Good for me it was once the alcohol. Stopped. Working as well as the in the beginning and to build up a little shirt tolerant stance and I started supplement and family smoke from. Moved some marijuana and had a couple of drinks and Graham on the tourists again. Kind of spirals out of control from there are close it's pretty easy to get your hands on obviously even back then end at fourteen years old and an engineer I'm going anywhere in and you can find it from here up. Now and I. Yeah and it just led to pull the bill eventually became whatever it took from whatever talked to not feel this way in March or you get to Scott. I know what happens there and just how real the military. Three years. During that didn't go for the first gulf war I'm done. I was hooked a high functioning alcoholic karma is excelling and then move rapidly advancing in the military and then. Doing things that these people are numbered. Seen through before you don't dogs barking where medals and awards and very rarely was sober met I was working crazy swing shifts because of those the job that I hadn't communications. End. It got a point I was young enough to my body can indoors that's the idea I was either drinking or working for a bit and would occasionally pass out. And so that's sleepless basically became both an alcohol induced coma for a couple of hours in between partying and working. And that was pretty much every day I worked. That worked what was called a Tutu to an eighty so my first day of work I would work seven to three like a normal person the second their work and work 73. But I'd never drank for eight hours and go back in an 11 o'clock that morning and night until 7 o'clock in the morning. Get off him in the morning and start drinking again so. And and then I'd go back in 11 o'clock at night till 7 in the morning drink for eight hours a bank in three to eleven and start drinking again so's there was the worker drank what must. Three drinking when you're drinking and what were you drinking. From there and it in the military I had to be more cautious obviously to have the drugs narcotics of any sort they're very very strict about but when it comes alcohol Dave. And here to the laws of the land. Some. Whatever the law as a country you're in it is it is what we are easier to. And we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back. Since 1972. Clear that treatment center has been providing successful treatment for those suffering from substance abuse clear Brooks medical program provides round the clock care and treatment. From a licensed and specialized medical team. They're bricks approach to addiction is largely based on the proven practices other alcoholics anonymous and has store services are available to patients. Seeking spiritual guidance. Called clear that today at 5702602600. M. Or are you or family member in need a lawyer because someone you know been charged with a crime injured in an accident or through for medical care going through a divorce or child custody dispute you need a lawyer with experience and credentials school aggressively protect your rights you need attorney dean Akins. I know in my feeling and I needed legal help we turn to days so should you call 5707144001. Art stone recovery center of the palm beaches provides addiction treatment senator within a small personal community types. For nearly two decades arch tone this helps thousands suffering from alcohol and chemical dependency is recover. And regain control of their lives are stones medical. Clinical and support staff. Provide the highest global professional treatment and individualized care color storm recovery center. 8558992292. Welcome back to sharing recovery straight talk once and he struggles on addiction and triumphs of recovery and recovery is possible we welcome your calls for questions or come. All 570830098. Or 180437009. And Angel. You were euros us Suzanne Kelly in jail growing. And welcome back to sharing recovery. Today's guest is Jeff Brown Jeff is any Carbondale natives and he's talking about. His journey from being an addict to recovery to being an inspirational Ryder. He's come along way and just before the break so we're talking eventually being in the service. And you pretty much working and drinking and working and drinking get you considered yourself a high functioning. Alcoholic so you really got the job done. When did you get to the point where he really started to spiral because no matter where you are you know when you're using and you can climbed climbed climbed climbed but eventually you hit that peak and you kinda start to go back record so where and when that happened for you when what were the circumstances. That was probably. As I left the military does leaving the military is in the same frame of mind to and I am blessed that I thought OK Doug join the military they're gonna give me this discipline and I need my life is gonna change and really didn't. So as I was about to go and I started thinking the same thing okay now I'm going home and things are going to be different and one. Veteran and people are gonna respect me and I did hello these grandiose ideas of what was going to happen when I came home. And as I sat and drank in my coach none of those wonderful ironically my did now all the people might London lineup might door to pay their respects so great and I just didn't know there was no further inform you while I sat and drank now. And that. I kinda looked at felt like. Now things are gonna change and I episodes so that was really in my early twenties that I'm. Again that at fourteen I had myself convinced I was probably going to die alone. I think well since then that was a tough bullies at that age obviously but. That happened the military experience brings some new life in the Meebo when that didn't make it better right there that's when I kinda gave up and everything. Okay see kind of figured that if he if you go back you say you went to the military you thought that was gonna make it okay just like he started using when your fourteen because that was gonna make it okay. So there was something probably go one on. Before you were fourteen to make you feel or push you towards feeling that if he didn't have this one person in your life you're not going to be OK and everything has been a snowball and you're gonna be along for the rest of your life. Yes yeah yep and that's. I'm not sure how exactly I reform to the idea of that the soul mate the soul mate idea that I do at that we've all go one shot at happiness ascent that says we're gonna. But but I definitely don't believe that's all that took place I had written myself off and any chance at any real happiness and that was gone at that point in time. So I'm. And it's so as I came home. I didn't really know what to do cut and I'm big into depressed and down there. NASA if the social anxiety nipped at times is hard to even go to the grocery store. First fear again in hindsight I can see how that it was all fear I would get my car driving on the street to go to grocery store and start thinking. What if I drop something breaks something in the dial what are people what my card gets declined to cash register what are people gonna think of speak. And I missed are running these scenarios through my head so. It kinda switch drew a fear of being alone to the fear of what everybody else thinks of me. And I get halfway to the store start thinking these things and just go to. The convenience store instead and bison potato chips and soda and run back home and hide my house. Because I was I was so terrified that. You wouldn't like me that I wasn't even gonna give him the chance to leverage a little low when you came veteran from the service did you live alone. Yeah. That I kind of insist that I am because this. Living with family I couldn't lift the way I wanted to live which was basically in a drunken stupor Kupchak if you don't look going just didn't. The thought of getting help come around. Fit it took a few years. Writer on the age of 28. Is when they begin to realize that maybe this is not. Normal and how people are supposed to live I'm still drink a beer in the woods oil oil everywhere you look at besides beer or using drugs at this point yes yes that's. Though the Maurer. Prevalent the fears became then the more tolerant your buildup to alcohol and though less of it. Kills the pain so and so yes. LSD was something that I got heavily involved in me because of the depression primarily heated in here and usually through. You're always laughing and smiling in a state of hallucination. So I was using that to get out of depression which obviously is incredibly destructive. And end up. Under that there's the effects of about Steve did the alcohol affects were taken away. I U guard came to realize that I can drink and drink and drink to no end and LSD. Because of its counteract the effects of alcohol I can see how some of the earliest people in the realm of recovery. When dabble with that as a cure alcoholism that literally counteract the physical effects open. And until you come down enough and of course and you feel like you guys have my truck but in while under the influence of a good bit take solace that way. There when one of one of the premier founder one of the guys that started recovery in my mind. Tried LSD. To have them come to expand his spiritual awakening him. And so now what you're saying makes sense he was a true alcoholic. And he did that help and she where is mine would go and so what happened just where we go from there no word from from there you're peeking through the curtains at this point very. Yeah and I'm I'm starting to begin with this it's not normal there is something probably wrong here. I didn't have their realization strong enough to do anything about it just yet though so these young manageability that we oh. Here spoke both so frequently still wasn't there I wasn't enough pain to take action but I did start realizing. Tiger remember telling people around that I think I may have a problem here. I would kinda. Say it jokingly and half heartedly but no mystery in my mind it was serious they'd laugh when I said it but I wasn't laughing. Know where you functioning at this point your job did you have where you're paying your bills very well troops. Can barely everything and I'm by a thread. I did purchase a home my grandfather had a rental property that he moved and retired decided it was gonna sell in the timing of me coming home from the military. Coincided with that's so I decided I was gonna. Who purchased that home. From family so I didn't have a mortgage to rural bank had the luxury of having a mortgage or my family who wouldn't foreclose if I couldn't pay the bills. Some little bit of enabling in that respect I suppose. That I did I did at times take advantage of it would work out enough fear in their. I was always. Amid the best employee. As long as I showed up. If I can get myself there is always good when I did no matter what it was and I took great pride and whether his military service circuit. I'm auntie and scrap markets and I'm at a plastics manufacturer. Didn't matter I thought I would take pride in both so I would I would work well if I showed up Chrysler now at some point it all hits the fan. It yeah but that's just one millions of fans when. No one was going to take care anymore once enabling stopped and they don't police he'd ask kind of became more prevalent and the jobs were fewer and further between. I was about to lose everything. And I enough that it had to spend another relationship which rose a recurring theme that I had an overwhelming fear of being alone coupled with an overwhelming fear of commitment. And I was constantly at war with myself that if you with those two conflicting fierce. So I ended a long stand long term relationship or as living with a girl and suit was about to lose the house. And that's that's when it hit me azeris packing boxes about the move out a deal collapsed on my bedroom floor boot bend. And so should have depression and don't put a gun in my mouth and gave myself that change or die ultimatum that. That so many people are familiar west. I can distinctly remember sitting there are saying OK and it. You're either put your brains on the wall behind you or. Fix this continuing on this path is no longer an option it's not on the table anymore there's some something has got the gift. And that's that level of despair is what finally drove me into the realm of recovery. So I pursued it and done. Went to a meeting out of despair can I would have done that before Harris I had too much pride did an ego which. Again in hindsight I realize is really just fear. Then I got couldn't ask for help asking for help in my mind made me look weak and stupid and an historic inaugural he's just. Call somebody's there weren't trying to meaning you went to a meeting via I did have a friend that I knew. He wasn't recovering a lifelong friends is that I had fallen out of touch with obviously because he was trying to live right now I wasn't so we we weren't. Very close friends but I knew that he would Muslims alternates are called and asked him what he would suggest and that was that was that the united suggested a meeting. That immediately McMahon and so that's but I don't. What was that like for you go into a meeting come especially when you thought you know I never you would never have to do anything like that and that was something you wouldn't do so you take that step. What was it like walking in the door. Terrifying not nothing short of terrifying I wouldn't even know how else to describe it never think again I got mention before there's a lot of social anxiety already existing. Now I'm walking into the G capsule lewd unknown I knew nothing about it I didn't go to treatment I hadn't been to a million meetings. Prior and I knew nothing about and I knew nothing about what to expect. So is certain. Terrifying but. Not as terrifying as potentially losing my. So you know Jeff I walked into a recovery program off the street. I didn't go to a treatment program I think didn't. That experience I walked him to a meeting on Friday afternoon that no new Westminster and then my first thought when I walk into that meeting was what I like doing here. I'm not like these people I am not one of these people. And there were several people there that I know and they all basically said the same thing. It's nice seeing guys here because we've been waiting for you but I didn't understand that. And you know there was a guy Derrick that first meeting his name is Sammy anger and he said to me just don't drink and they come back tomorrow. And I repeated that every day of the week for the last nineteen years several times a day. But that moment I had no idea what that meant but I had no idea what to feel others then I don't belong to a few people. I'm a few months into this I said to a guy when they X I I don't wanna go to meetings I just don't belong there and he should keep coming back until you feel like you do real long. That's a look at some time for me so I understand what you're seeing you go into a meeting them why are my hero. This isn't me. So you would include a first meaning you can clean since sure yes yes and no boasts. I was one of the people who didn't have to experience chronic relapsing but very fortunately. But Malia and that did you hit the nail on the head was down especially with you know we kinda started at fourteen your boat prior to that. Been I had a pretty solid life I girl temporary your own good and on the upper middle class is in good and having major problems say that I don't have a family history of alcoholism or addiction. Personal abuse that enough. I felt like I almost felt like it. As I said most meetings and listen to these horror stories in these tragedies that everybody had been through that I started feeling the same way like maybe I don't belong here now. I don't and it it really registered in my head what I said to myself as I don't have the same excuses. Didn't bother people due to abuse drugs and alcohol. And so it made me feel worse about myself that I didn't have a good reason to be destroying myself for drugs and alcohol dependent and that again. Hindsight is where I realized that fears fears fear no matter when a caution doom right fear. Fear is fear and for some people fear is relationship some peer people fear his money. Some people fear is how little others perceive me but fear is fear and how away message I sphere. Well in my case it was alcohol you know a lot of alcohol but I didn't know that. I'm truly didn't know that I was a mess enticing fear until. I was eight years into recovery. Went and add six years to recover I want to prison for things I had done in air earlier. Because of ice berg and 99 game but I didn't change the way I was living. So in 2006 I go to prison in 2008 I come home. And thank you both from prison. And a guy said to me I need to talk to about something and and I went to see him and he said he had to be twenty dollars he show why don't you go drink. Because you don't want to recovery our way and you're not getting any better. And and I was offended by that. I didn't go drink I do I want to to a media never had a drink since but I left that meeting with the guy and a day. And I knew something had to change or die moment for me something had to change and that's why surrendered and that's why I started to realize. That I hadn't done the things I needed to do to actually recovery yet current take a break we're gonna sock. More about surrendering and it and it being a necessary part of recovery we'll be right back. Arch don't reach a listener of the palm beaches provides addiction treatment senator within the small personal community types. For nearly two decades arch tone has helped thousands suffering from alcohol and chemical dependency is recover. And regain control of their lives are stones medical. Clinical and support staff. Provide the highest level of professional treatment and individualized care color storm recovery sooner. And he tried to find 8992292. Since 1972. Clear that treatment center has been providing successful treatment for those suffering from substance abuse clear Brooks medical program provides round the clock care and treatment. From a licensed and specialized medical team. They're bricks approach to addiction is largely based on the proven practices other alcoholics anonymous has store services are available to patients seeking spiritual guidance. Called clear that today at 5702602600. Or if you're someone you know needs a lawyer what did you look for excellence experience integrity attorney Dave Aiken has all of those qualities whether it's a criminal case a personal injury matter medical negligence or divorce stable fight for you I know from personal experience 5707144001. This is double BYE a game powered by Sherwood Chevrolet Buick GM CE online it sure would Chevrolet dot com. Welcome back to sharing recovery straight talk on today's struggles of addiction and triumphs of recovery. Recovery is possible we welcome your calls for questions or come. All 570830098. Or 18043700. And I an Angel and you were euros as Suzanne Kelly in general problem. And welcome back to your recovery our guest today is Jeff Brown. Jeff you've taken on us us on an incredible journey as far as starting here you sit at age fourteen and why and the fear and Jack Cust and it was so important would you set about the fear part the fear and end. Numbing your feelings on it any can just be so deadly so deadly in in so many instances. But now you have been sober for over twelve years. And you decided to really. Take a turn and give back in so many ways. And one of the ways. That we talked about in the open and the show is sponsoring almost 300 people. It's about writing it's about putting on together op programs and in doing public speaking. So I'd like to talk about if you would share. About your sponsoring 300 people out of that happen would. Well it's clearly just you don't sponsors 301 time not one time oh we are Swiss economy might not understand that using your sponsors 300 people once and you don't even at that time that we need your rest but I. No not one of those best because you're stupid and at least Monday. The big boys buzzer come in my house once a week for two hours at a time and we walk through their problems can. It is okay you go to the best first meeting that first recovery meetings and you stayed in this program since. But now recovery your life it was when you walked in there right now you'll live recovery yes let's talk about that session. Limit recovery. Because both mom after. After the initial meeting notice. That was really all it took good. That the unfortunate part was that I I didn't get the answers necessarily I was looking for specifically none of them and I can remember distinctly sitting in this meeting and everybody that shared. I can remember saying stupid they are saying keep going back it works if you work at that was the that. Term that stood out to me most. So ultimately decide afterwards I said what is it can you tell it it works if you work at somebody needs to explain to me what it is and and they couldn't. So when I left that meeting and I called best friend and I mentioned earlier this has led me there to begin with and I asked him if he knew what it was and he didn't. And he sat me down just the way I do others and he took me through this this poster process. He didn't. Tell me what did you didn't give me advice and opinions he gave me. Facts and figures and bid directions and what I call with a problem he didn't he didn't give me a humble opinion he gave a page number. And a I am fit I'm eternally grateful for that type of sponsorship and every time I left this gentleman's coast he was thinking meet. And I didn't understand that I didn't understand why he was thinking he he was just saving my life in my mind and he's thanking me for it. And at. And this is gonna sound a little crazy and this isn't for everybody but at two weeks sober he gave addressed me and asked me why I wasn't helping anybody. Two weeks over and I'm thinking I don't even know what plan and I'm I'm just fine thank you don't just mean helping people. And he pointed out a few things that suggested that is the way this is supposed to have to work can do this sooner the better maybe you don't have all the knowledge to teach them this year. But you don't doesn't mean you can't help people. Always kind of bill and Bob have when they started helping people younger couple hours a couple of days ago exactly I mean so yet. Helping others it is the key to this whole life and ask your doctor Barbara prescription. You know clean house trust god and help other search. And until we can come or until I can come to a point where I can live that on a daily basis. Then I can't recover. So you started helping others shaft and word and I think you. There it said. Didn't take long to realize that that. Nothing felt better there's no drinks no drugs you know. The money you know nothing could compare to the feeling that came from from sitting down with somebody in and literally watching the lights come up in their eyes. And then having somebody's mother call you and thank you for saving their son's life you know it's not Meehan has nothing to do with wizard. Hit it in effect is gad and the spiritual principles laid out in the twelve step process Minnesota and that's. That's where I believe the real anonymity in this program comes into giving credit where it's supposed to go to the power greater than ourselves and our. Our power and that is the solution to put us. So. So again the credit goes wearable art everybody has to play their part film students go obviously got at least these principles so my sponsor had to be willing to takes time and a two. Give to me and I had to be willing to receive it's hurting players are part of real play the roller signed everything goes well. But it is really didn't take long the first person I sponsored. Two weeks over most sober longer than me. But hadn't been through the process had some great set down and went through it he stole from the sober till this day. Then to. That's only talk I was on my way I understood him and when I used to send to my sponsor what can I ever do to repay you resent you do move through in this process we don't repay new pair of former you don't owe me anything you have to go help the next four guys that need to you don't owe me anything. And that it just seems so strange and unusual. When you looked around at the rest of the world. You know this was such a unique way of looking at life in my mind at that point in time but then we stop taking your start giving. Exactly reg. And that's the key to recovery is given. It did really really is then and 921 of my game. Big hang ups in the realm of recovery is exactly that I have to understand that there's a difference between being responsible for my own life and actions and cleaning up my own mess and handling my own problems social responsibility. Is different and selfishness is the at one point I was told this is a selfish program and it absolutely is not as. We have to be good. Our very lives as a problem drinkers depends upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs and that doesn't sound selfish to me. We need to clean house every day I absolutely don't work cleaning house every day when were sharing what's going on with us with someone else. We're helping ourselves but that person is also being helped you because then there on the reverse of that they're helping us. And it and it becomes that cycle of if we all help each other and it goes around in a circle. In the circle can be worldwide we know that mess the ultimate goal of everybody in the world delivered twelve step programs for world where you're prettier place. But we have to continually help others to stay sober to stay clean and stay happy to master ties the fear. I must stop thinking about Jack. And I must think about everyone else I come in contact with and how can help them. Absolutely it's. So are you still sponsoring. Individuals today I mean you still have those weekly meetings at your home more or some other location where you're talking one on one to someone. Yeah so I Mario UC Davis suggested that I spent much of my spare time doing that and everybody spare time is different now good and I look. I'm it incredibly humbled by a story like doctor Bob's I've sponsored three other people and that's fantastic news twelve for thirteen years he was only a lie is. And sobriety for fifteen years. And it did his story says the deal 5000. Alcoholic men and women to recovery fifteen years 5000 people there and on twelve I only a 300. So it really haven't done enough. Take this further though and actually start to right then and work on your book skin and your various types of outreach because you would. You're creative writer now I mean you have turned what you have your experience and your god given gifts. To Redding. That's a great question that was superb one of those Saddam. Seemingly. Through coincidence deserved or not. I don't actually dropped out of high school he got a ged before entering into the military and one of the classes that I was exceptionally bad that was English lit. Net and so. Becoming a writer was definitely not. Part of my plan. It actually came as a result of that might well step knowledge people people. Forced me to basically tell him enough people come to me and say you need to do this this isolated and have any choice then that. They wanted more knowledge they wanted they needed help and actually started this text messages read ten or twelve people that I would send a text message to a daily basis trying to inspire them. Mean I'm basically out of the big book. I'm done and and don't taking a sentence out of a book and I'm putting my own interpretation. Of it. And it was helping those those people and it was helping them enough that they started sending them to there friends and their friends and their friends and tiller hundreds of people on this text lists from all over the country. And and again that those masses again started coming back to me sing you need to write him. And not everybody that was reading a text word necessarily addicts or politics I mean. Now so you're if you're ripple effects started to reach individuals. Who could just Dennis Kelly checks and everybody was filed a twelve step the world would be much much better place. I'm absolutely and they'll. The literature suggests that I know it's it's one of the things that the people frequently disagree with me about the primary purpose. But it doesn't say the only purpose. Primary which means there must at least be a secondary and they lay that out and then some of that recoveries literature. How important is that. Even if the oh god doesn't respond you should offer his family this way a flaw if that. Lets me know exactly what my secondary purposes that I should be helping anybody on earth would these steps that cares to have that stuff. Are just so what is the name of your book. My book is called inspirational without explanation. Fans who booed bad title came in with. The help of my fiance gentry actually came up with the title and then the idea behind that was it didn't just sound an inspirational thirty I'd like to add some practical application for the inspiration because anybody can say things that sound nice and fluffy. But if I can't do it I can't practice at it isn't really gonna help me or changed my life so. So my inspirational writing is is based in Manhattan it's. They're good and I'm hoping to inspire you to take action and it and that can actually take the corrective measures are required to change her. Okay we're gonna talk more about the book we have to take one more quick break we'll be right back. Attorney deep Aiken has been practicing laughter 23 years he successfully represented thousands of clients and cases ranging from multimillion dollar personal injury and medical malpractice claims to criminal cases to divorces when I needed legal guidance I called. 5707144001. Art stone recovery center of the palm beaches provides addiction treatment senator within a small personal community types. For nearly two decades arch tone this helps thousands suffering from alcohol and chemical dependency is. Recover and regain control of their lives are stones medical. Clinical and support staff. Provide the highest level professional treatment and individualized care color storm recovery center. 8558992292. Since 1972. Clear that treatment center has been providing successful treatment for those suffering from substance abuse clear Brooks medical program provides round the clock care and treatment. From a licensed and specialized medical team clear bricks approach to addiction is largely based on the proven practices other alcoholics anonymous and has store services are available to patients seeking spiritual guidance. Called clear that today at 5702602600. Yeah. Realized. This close. Easy Taliban. Taking Republican. Can Jeff Sessions vacated senate seat. Descendants we don't have. What does it mean for the president's agenda rather. Personnel supports his agenda talk about the ramifications we're making good progress on healthy wild game. Welcome back to sharing recovery straight talk on today's struggles of addiction and triumphs of recovery. Recovery is possible we welcome your calls were. Questions or come. All 570830098. Or 180437009. And Angel. You're euros as Suzanne Kelly in check. Crop. And welcome back we are here with author local author just brown. And Jesse is sharing with us. His book his his book is inspiration. With explanations. And it is if Larry call mice and Serena and it is and 88 passage for every day. So it's a 365. Day bulk. Yup yeah end I've been writing them for a book and a different one every single day for the past seven years so. And as I guess I could technically have seven books written it. Only one has been published so far but I would like to get to the point if it can gain some steam where I'm releasing when an annual basis and then there's keep pumping out stuff fountains. And giving people hope and expressing. Movement and some of them to the real powerful truism of life but I know those very very simple way you give us some examples. If I'm sure we've talked a lot about hindsight. Here today and I. In hindsight I can see very clearly what the twelve step process this is designed to do I. Have a tendency over thinking over analyze everything mentioned I would imagine most people probably are guilty as as well but. And I mean I hear you reassemble your possibility in that's the Qaeda in LA that's before awards from there on the anymore so that's something that's what I ended up ultimately looking forward to that end and I found that simplicity what that is the realization have come to is that all of my shears and all my problems come from the fact that I'm selfish resentful dishonest and afraid and there are all share in the right to challenge or all of the motions are based in fear you know. That's why we go back computer model. Who told mir's only fear and laughs exactly and they're the real simplicity of this it it in the big book it says that selfishness and self seller list that we think is the root of her troubles so we scramble around their five million different ways to fix this supposedly but realistically of selfishness is my problem. There's only one solution. Self less mass period that's the only one that is the simplicity we really really need to look for out of life. We need to stop over thinking and over analyzing and Psycho babbling this thing to death is a very simple matter. Went and there was they would probably the first thing my sponsor told me when I sat down with a miss your selfish. I of course this. Insulted and offended my tendon believable when he said it. But that it didn't. He proved it to me through my own actions he would never argue any of these points with me but back to show you fit right two weeks after. That being told me that I told me was wrong. I call them the problem. We've rambled. Didn't care what he had going on in life then and Monday when the conversation is over recent I'm doing okay today thanks for re asking for it. And just everything right back to doctor Bob's prescription. Tell us about other people. And every one of those things selfishness. You know insecurities. They're all pointed at me. All of those emotions are about me and what I'm thinking about me. I'm crazy if I can think about you or Jan or shoes and her car early and I'm okay. So that's what your book is about right helping people understand the world isn't a. Out there and exactly exactly and that's that's not just the self centered aspect of it was more confusing so fishy to me was kinda obviously got to you know like both kids won't share a story is 999 type of selfishness but the sell Saturn that's where I'm thinking about myself all the time I think. Because I'm terrified mom. It is a much bigger problem because it's subtle than in you can overlook it I didn't realize it when I was driving through grocery store terrified of what other people thought of me. That was selfishness that was self centered thinking I was thinking about me. Now what I can contribute to the people at the grocery store when I was gonna get from them and and had destroyed my entire life and I can see now very clearly that that is a major problem with. That's who doesn't have trouble remembering people's names. Absolutely well and it and the amazing thing is when you can get to the point in life where you don't care what other sanctions. You're no longer. Selfish you're actually just free to give to others because I'm not worried about what you think of my shirt. I'm not worried if I drop something in the grocery store. I'm not worried is the most I can do to is couldn door for someone I don't have to be Bill Gates and give away ninety billion dollars. I can simply called the door I can say hello to someone. He walks into a meeting new and they look scared or somebody was an immediate surgery to cry and maybe sometimes calling me to say hello. But the other thing I need to do is I need to do and anonymously. I don't need. To be rewarded for what I've done for someone else because I might need a pat on the back for being kind to someone. I'm doing it for the wrong reason. I need to be able to be kind. Without any reward without anybody ever seeing your great guy Jack. Know you get to that point you start to feel free don't. Then that's what you try and help people you train help people object to that point you if you trained people there. The next step and and the willing are always let there anybody who was willing like guys who bet I had a book signing event last weekend and as I was signing books at the end event all of those with the big talking around me in the room that there were people gleefully celebrating the fact that I just told them they were selfish. They they were happy about it that's how you know you're dealing with someone who really wants to know the truth is 'cause when you give it to them it makes them feel good about themselves even when the truth is your selfish because. They wanna know the truth so they can say except and that's. One of the hardest things I have is that that I have. It's convincing people of is that other people. Can't control your feelings. You are in control of your feelings of somebody insults me there is no cosmic law that says I must feel hurt and offended Ryan I choose debt. That's a very good point because a lot of times in its not only in addiction but what you're here as well. She made me feel that way or he made me feel angry or she made me do that no. Ultimately you know you have your stimulus and your response and in between there you have the choice. And how you're gonna feel how you're gonna respond how you gonna act. End and you're absolutely nailed it we are responsible for our feelings where it would ever those feelings are and I don't necessarily think. There are bad feelings the feelings of the feelings you just have to get past those feelings but those who tried to deny their feelings. Or to push their feelings down. I think that's when you start to really get in trouble because I just think that you can only stuff so much down for so long. Before it really starts to bubble up I'm kind of a comes back angry before we started. They show we were sitting here chatting and just told me something that I didn't know and we're down to the last few minutes I wanna hear what is on the year just you told us your breeding a board game at. Our recovery. You gotta tell our audience about this because if I just I loved it sort of tells modest shift. As good if there's a great opportunity that was given to contribute to something that was. Honestly and genuinely designed in them the wheels set in motion to help people to recruit speed bump with. Good to fortify that the truth and and really help everybody that they comes in contact with the Davis truly designed for that we love we. We kind of contrast the rude I was working in Lucerne county where it and we're reading and NBC nightly news article about how that was deemed the unhappy as to place in America Simpson. The drug problems or counties. Happier place in America yes and so for bill and we sat there in the eye of that storm bit and started putting together we did this game to. With that in hopes so from. Correcting some of that problem we wanna get the recovery out there and a fun way and enjoyable way like good because some of the things I was being told doing earlier recovery didn't sound exciting go to a meeting read this book not that sounded. Like fun to me. And now and then there's that literature does say we absolutely insist on enjoying life of newcomers casino far joy on what we're doing they wouldn't want that so we want to brings fund to recovery to know in general terms without revealing any secrets shift. Is it like monopoly is it like jump. Loses dice I mean we've we've combines a number of games it's got some visitors do on some trivia it does have dice and those cards has had a strategy third there is a lot involved and had their. And it's something you can really have fund if learning thing it should visit education usually now that's fun but this isn't it though. Those test marketing that we've done much to this point has been pretty extensive people who are fit it's been going really well people are blowing up. So if it's like monopoly vendors rehab boxes and there's go to jail boxes and then there's these cards boxes and slippery yeah. They're right now it's more jail boxes and normal right yeah and theatrical collects through and then. Most of the people I know him so I'm not most of a lot of people we don't spend some time behind bars when you know everything. You don't want if we get over that too don't we don't we do there is no matter what you are really. I can't you get a definite date yet but but some diamond two now. Probably within the next six months or so early in 2000 morning and sometime mosey down on the shelves of Toys 'R' Us is there's still Toys 'R' Us. There isn't their payroll and I don't go to colors are nice. Is this something that's going to be available locally is is something DC you'll be marketing and Indian distribution on lying fairly on Amazon. House there goes worldwide where we wanna start to grassroots okay bill and then and I'm really. And our locally first and foremost but obviously were hoping that it becomes. Much much bigger than map. Some put up what that's your pages could that your FaceBook page your website I mean could you share with our audience with our listeners. How can they get in touch if you work and learn more about you and we're gonna post that on the share recoveries FaceBook page but while they're listening right now. Incurred inspiration with explanation does have a lot of FaceBook page but with that name I also blog with that name. Them. He meets you can always email read JS brown six to five and Gmail. So yeah there's where we buy the book just the book you can buy on my website Jeffrey S brown dot com. Until it's available on there there are some of my writing out their to a couple years of backlog stuff if you're really on the back to. And what if someone really wants to reach out TU for the possibility that you may be a sponsor. To them is that even a possibility. Yes they absolutely. And any of those methods would would work for me you can email me could go through PME through the FaceBook page. Might. Home group is in charge bold on Friday nights at. 730 years gonna come see you see there that's that anyway you can find me Simon you'll find me. So did you think going back not to new fourteen to 24. 3444. Inch did you think he would ever be where you are right now. In a great solid relationship. And not alone and happy and your world has just opened up. And you're also helping countless people out there and. And not enough I've. Honestly did not see any of these things so the promise is coming true that Mitt and then some absolutely. We won't be here next week is Christmas Eve and the following we only meet Jack crop. It's an incredible thank you so much for listening if you're celebrating the holidays Merry Christmas happy new year and though we'll be talking to you real soon. Have a great week.