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How'd You Find Out About It So Fast?

      My buddy Joe seemed upset. I'd go so far as to say he was almost distraught.

     What’s the matter Joe?
    
     “It was terrible. I didn’t even see it and next thing ya know it’s right there in the middle of the road. I couldn’t do anything.”
    
     What happened? What was in the middle of the road? Did you hit a dog with your car?
    
     “No. A pig.”
    
     …a pig?
    
     “Yeah…a freakin’ pig.”
    
     A pig…you gotta be kiddin’ me.
     
     “This morning…I’m comin’ down 247 towards Heart Lake. I’m
drivin’ along and boom! Outa nowhere this pig comes runnin’ out of a field…just before ya get to the turn at Route 107. Ya know, headin’ towards the Windsor. I’m drivin’ along and I nailed it. It was terrible. The hay in the field wasn’t cut all the way to the road and I guess it was in the tall grass or whatever, and I didn’t see it in there. What the hell was a pig doin’ in there? I don’t even think it knew where it was goin’. It was just running like full speed and right out onto the road. I couldn’t miss it.”
    
     And Joe seemed really anxious and upset by the whole thing.
    
     Of course, if you’ve ever had the misfortune to hit anything bigger than a bug with your car, you know it can be very unsettling. There’s usually a sickening thump accompanied by a sudden rush of
helplessness knowing that whatever creature it is that’s wandered into your path is probably looking at “lights out” because of you. And sure, accidents happen but still it’s a very regrettable sensation. I’ve seen it happen and I’ve had it happen to me so I can understand how he might have felt.

     That’s unbelievable Joe? So what’d you do?
    
     “Well, I mean, I tried to hit the brakes but it was too late. It
happened so fast. So I pulled over a little bit down the road and I got out of the car and it was just layin’ there. And I look around and there’s nobody around that I could see, I mean, it wasn’t even near a house or a barn or anything. So I just pulled it off to the side of the road and I took off.”
    
     Wow…that’s unbelievable. Any damage to your car?
    
     “No, but I felt bad, ya know? All the way home I’m thinkin’ about this stupid pig runnin’ out in front of my car. And I wasn’t speeding or anything. I mean, it’s not like I couldn’t stop because I was goin’ too fast. It sucked.”
    
     Yeah, I guess.
     
     “And that’s not even the worst part of it.”
    
     What? What do you mean?
    
     “Well, like I said, I pulled the pig off the road and I looked around to see if anyone was in the field or whatever but I didn’t see anybody. So I get back home and I’m pullin’ in the driveway and all of a sudden out of nowhere, a state police car pulls in the driveway right behind me. Oh, that's nice. So I start opening the door to get out and the statey on the bullhorn says “Please remain in your vehicle”, and I’m like, what the hell?”
    
     You gotta be kidding me!
     
     “No! And the statey gets out of the car and he walks over to me and he asks for my license and registration. So I give him my license and I get the registration out of the glove compartment and I ask him what the problem is. And he says, “Did you just hit a pig with your vehicle near the junction of Routes 247 and 107?”, and I’m like, wow...yes I did Officer. I tried to see if anyone was around so I could tell them what happened but I didn’t see anyone. How’d you find out about it so fast? And ya know what the statey said?”
    
     What?
    
     “The pig squealed!”



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07/10/2010 10:51PM
How'd You Find Out About It So Fast?
Please Enter Your Comments Below
07/27/2010 5:11AM
very good
Finally a blog worth the read
08/27/2010 11:59AM
What, did you quit?
Nice job keeping readers up to date. Lazy, real lazy. Will work for wings and beer?
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