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Webster's Blog

Posts from April 2013

Everybody Wants a Job But...

Hello, Geisinger Choice? I got a notice in the mail today, says THIS IS NOT A BILL, but it goes on to say that...what's that? Oh, okay.

Hello? Yes, I got a notice in the mail today, says THIS IS NOT A BILL, but it goes on to say that...oh, you're not? Yes, please. Thank you.

Yes, hello. I received a notice in the mail today, says THIS IS NOT A BILL, but it goes on to say that 100% of the blood test I had done at Viewmont Labs was not paid because my coverage has expired.

Yes. I'll hold.

Hello? Hi. I received a notice in the mail today, says THIS IS NOT A BILL, but it goes on to say that 100% of the blood test I had done at Viewmont Labs was not paid because my coverage has expired.

Now a few months back I dropped MY insurance where I work and went on my wife's plan where she works which is ALSO Geisinger Choice. When I went to my doctors office AND when I went to the lab they made a copy of my new card but I can see on your notice that the numbers don't match.

Oh, those numbers are transferred electronically? Mmm-hmm.

Electronically seems foolproof so I wonder why would the old number be transferred electronically instead of the new number which both offices made copies of?

Oh, you don't? Well I don't either. That's why I'm calling. So, can you rectify the problem?

Oh, you can't. Mmm.

Oh, I have to call the lab myself. Great. Okay, sure, oh, you can give me the number? Excellent. Sure, I'll hold







Yes, I'm still here. Okay.






Hello? Yes. Okay, yes I'm ready.

Okay, got it. Thank you.


Hello, Viewmont Labs, I received a notice from.....what? Viewmont. Labs.

It isn't?

Sorry. Wrong number.

My father always says 'Everybody wants a job but nobody wants to work.'

 (1) Comments
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Topics: Human Interest

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In the Spring...

Mark Twain said, "In the Spring I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours."

We clung to the 'prediction' made by an over-commercialized part of Pennsylvania folklore named Punxsutawney Phil that we would, he 'claimed', see an early Spring.

And slowly, with each passing day of grey skies and temperatures in the 30's, with overnight lows in the 20's, with a tease of sunshine then clouds, then partly sunny skies, then hail, then flurries in the higher elevations that sometimes showed up in the lower ones, we waited.

And waited.

And waited until the possiblity of an early Spring was no longer a possibility.

In fact we waited so long that ultimately a prosecutor in Ohio sought to being Phil up on charges of fraud or whatever charge might be brought against a rodent who we pretend predicts weather and who we pretend angers us when his prediction is off the mark.

But as Spring always does, it has finally arrived.

We're still not out of the 'Jeez, yesterday it was 68 degrees, today I don't think we hit 48' woods but I guess that's the nature of Springtime.

It's great to leave the house without a coat. It's nice to not notice a temperature change from indoors to outdoors. And thoughts of SPF 30 aside, doesn't the sun feel good?

 (2) Comments
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Locations: OhioPennsylvania

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It's a Gas, Gas, Gas!

I bought a five gallon gas can this week. The first thing you see when you walk into the store where I bought it is a gas can display, the price marked $19.95. I wandered through the store and found more identical gas cans on a shelf near the back where they were marked $18.95.

I love when I find something like that.

It was only a dollar difference but I was preparing for the battle that was about to take place.

"This can is marked 19.95 over there but back there it says they're 18.95!"

And the kid says, "Well let's see." Waves the magic price wand and VOILA! It scans for $18.95.

Damn it.

Then he says, "Unless you wanna pay 19.95." I replied, "I will if the 19.95 one has gas in it." I thought it was cute. The kid didn't get it or he didn't care.

And that's not even why I'm telling you all this.

If you haven't purchased a gas can since 2009 you might not know that the California Air Resouces Board (CARB) has decreed and evidently some other states have voluntarily complied with the fact that the old-style gas can spouts (the kind that work) were emitting excess fumes. So now gas cans come with a spring-loaded spout that won't allow the gas to pour unless the spout has pressure applied to it by making contact with the tank you're refilling. Or something.

I've used this kind of spout before. It's supposed to cut down on the fumes but in fact what it does is make filling the lawnmower or snowblower more difficult and you end up spilling more gas then you ever did with the old spout which obviously defeats the new spout's make-believe intent.

Faced with a gas can that has a government-mandated spout I wondered if there might be somplace online where one might purchase an old-school replacement spout.

And there is!

It's a website called EZ-Pour Spout (

They sell gas can spouts and water can spouts.

I was thrilled! 

But my bubble soon burst when I noticed on the website that Pennsylvania is one of a handful of states that do not allow the sale or purchase of pre-2009 gas can spouts. So I contacted the folks at EZ-Pour Spout and asked if there isn't some workaround for this.

There isn't.

What there IS is the fact that they CAN sell residents of Pennsylvania a water can spout legally, just fine and dandy, no problem whatsoever. And the water can spout is identical in every way to the gas can spout save for one difference.

It's a different color.

So I bought one.

In case I ever get a water can.

 (4) Comments
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Locations: Pennsylvania

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